>>From radioman Tue Apr 20 11:32:36 1999
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>From: BILL AND MAXI <[log in to unmask]>
>Date: Tue, 20 Apr 1999 11:30:46 -700
>X-Mailer: Net-Tamer 1.11.2
>Subject: 50 Things To Do In an Elevator
>
>Status:
>
> 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
> 2. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
> other passengers that this is your "personal space."
> 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
> "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
> 4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World"
> incessantly.
> 5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
> 6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of
> the elevator.
> 7. Shave.
> 8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
> ask: "Got enough air in there?"
> 9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours
> upside-down.
> 10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
> without getting off.
> 11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors
> open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
> 12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol
> coming!"
> 13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
> and ask them to call you Admiral.
> 14. One word: Flatulence!
> 15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it
> stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go
> "plink" at the bottom.
> 16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
> 17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
> announce: "I've got new socks on!"
> 18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh,
> not now, damn motion sickness!"
> 19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
> 20. Meow occasionally.
> 21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
> 22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and
> say "oops!"
> 23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
> 24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
> 25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
> 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
> 27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're
> one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
> 28. Burp, and then say "Mmmm...tasty!"
> 29. Leave a box between the doors.
> 30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for
> them.
> 31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers
> "through" it.
> 32. Start a sing-along.
> 33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "was that your
> beeper?"
> 34. Play the harmonica.
> 35. Shadow box.
> 36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
> 37. Lean against the button panel.
> 38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
> 39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
> 40. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex
> to other passengers.
> 41. Bring a chair along.
> 42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
> wha in muh mouf?"
> 43. Blow spit bubbles.
> 44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
> 45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host
> body."
> 46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
> 47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
> 48. Wear "x-ray specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
> 49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
> 50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
> <*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*><*>
>
> BILL KOPPELMANN N0JIO
> [log in to unmask]
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