I think you are right about searching for the emotion before the anger.  I  once
heard "Dr Laura" on the radio say that anger is always the second emotion, and I
have found that to be very helpful in analyzing myself and others, and in
responding to anger.

Stuart Ross

Jason Kruse RPAC wrote:

> You said:
> Much of our anger comes in how we were raised.
> If you never learned how to express it- just bottle it up and hide all real
> emotion merely putting on a fase front.
>
> Sooo true. It does become a viscious cycle. I will assume that you dont
> handle anger well because your parents either didn't handle it well either
> as you were growing up. Where do you think we learn these techniques from?
> Mom and Pop. Everyone has things in our lives that make us angry but some
> learned how to better manage it by watching how mom and dad dealt with it(
> if done appropriately). As a parent I know that if I dont learn how to
> better manage angry,etc how in the world will my children be able to learn
> how to deal with it appropriately.
>
> I take the cognitive approach to anger: Say something happens that is
> invoking,,,I feel the anger coming on,,,,,,I say to myself--why am I
> angry??,,,,,,,,,What is the emotion that I felt right before I got angry??
> (because I believe angry quickly substitutes feelings of hurt, embarrasment,
> disrepect,etc) So then I say why do I feel (fill in the blank) and that
> usually takes me right to the raw issue of why I converted into anger. Be
> honest with yourself and the questions will lead you to your answer.  Do
> this everytime you can and what happens over time is you know exactly in a
> matter of seconds why you became angry (usually because of hurt,
> embarrasment, disrespect,etc). Awareness is the first step of dealing with it..
>
> Now, I havent had therapy but would love too. This is just something that I
> read and seems to be working pretty well. Dealing with the sensativity to
> the above emotions is what I think I/we need to talk to someone about. Sure
> we can manage anger when it comes but can we correct our sensitivities so
> that we dont deal with so much anger.
>
> Jason
> Kind regards,
>
> Jason Kruse
>
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> Jason Kruse RPAC
> Family Practice
> Kansas PA Temps
> "PA School Review Disk (C)"
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