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Date: | Fri, 18 Feb 2000 14:05:39 -0500 |
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Give me a Moon-pie and R.C., Kyle... You forgot those two staples of a
Southron lifestyle... lol
Mike
Kyle E. Cleveland wrote:
>
> Since we're (sort of) on the subject, and I need to hit my 15 limit for the
> day (I fish too much), I thought you might enjoy this (apologies to Deri,
> Carla, et. al. for this seemingly meaningless nonsense):
>
> The Top 39 things you would NEVER hear a Southron say:
>
> 39. I'll take Shakespeare for $1,000, Alex
> 38. Duct tape won't fix that
> 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael
> 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken
> 35. We don't keep firearms in this house
> 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
> 33. You can't feed that to the dog
> 32. I thought Graceland was tacky
> 31. No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe
> 30. Wrasslin's fake
> 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
> 28. We're vegetarians
> 27. Do you think my hair is too big?
> 26. I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy
> 25. Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
> 24. Who's Richard Petty?
> 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds
> 22. Deer heads detract from the decor
> 21. Spitting is such a nasty habit
> 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today
> 19. Trim the fat off the steak
> 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso
> 17. The tires on that truck are too big
> 16. I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad
> 15. I've got it all on a floppy disk
> 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better
> 13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
> 12. My fiance, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's
> 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl
> 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams
> 9. Checkmate
> 8. She's too old to be wearing a bikini
> 7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
> 6. Hey, here's an episode of Hee Haw that we haven't seen
> 5. I don't have a favorite college team
> 4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side
> 3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long
> 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer
> And the #1 thing you would NEVER hear a Southron say is,
> 1. Elvis who?
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