Bob,

I haven't taken the time to greet you or post you more directly so let me
say "Hi" to you now and see if I can offer my support.

I've visited your webs and am impressed by your accomplishment.  My activity
with computers doesn't get much beyond email and net surfing.

My intro to this list evolved by searching for Carla MacInnis whose
impressive writings were brought to my attention by a friend this side of
the Ethernet.  My "first encounter" involved taking a shot at Bobby Greer,
with whom I wound up, and usually do find myself, in agreement, admire and
respect, and consider, as much as this forum allows, a friend and fellow
traveler.

From the beginning I did not sit back and survey the scene, I jumped right
in and let human nature take its course.  Not that I'm indifferent to
people's feelings, I'm often obtuse.  Besides, I'm willing, if sometimes
slow and even reluctant, to take responsibility for my attitudes and
behavior; will offer apologies when asked and due.

Now I've been here for about, sigh, two years, so I "know" some of the folks
and indulge the banter and ease that grows between longer term
acquaintances.  That's not intended to exclude or embarrass you or anyone
per se, that's not to say my writing's not "layered" and directed with
multiple intentions.

For better and worse, I enjoy being sexual and sexual innuendo, (often try
to insert such little word plays and references), the awe and wonder of
creation and pleasure, laugh and share with women and men the issues of our
shortcomings.

I love words and writing, the expressions and interplay of human intellects
and experiences as we come to know and express them in this medium.  I
admire how each of us uses her and his language and how beautifully we think
and write, how passionately we argue, how silly and trivial we can be.

See where this is going?

Obviously, hopefully, you're not the only person reading this.  I'm still
talking to you directly, sincerely, yet expanding the scope of the
discussion, shifting something of the attention and intention to include
somebody else, others.  You know "somebody."  She came right up front and
teased you and Chester for rolling Anee (if I noticed right, Anee didn't
protest). You and Chester went--dare I say--rigid and proper.  An acceptable
response given the surprise and "confrontation."

I seized the moment for the opening I saw, gave me a chance to play with
Elaine (Did she notice, does she care?), (also you, Chester, and Anee).
Others joined, some went off list.  (From the room we come and go.)  You're
on safe ground.  We're all still here, thank God, and so are you.  Relax.
Enjoy.  We'll sort thinks out as we go along.

You write: "People thought I was getting sexual."  I interpreted helpfulness
and sexuality being expressed.  I presume others did too, but I don't know
what others think, only what they say.  There's a major distinction between
what people think and say or write.  And at least two more from how we mean
and interpret what is written.

AND I also saw, as did Elaine and others an opportunity to engage sexual
banter and teasing.  Sex and sexual moments fizz and fizzle, popped corns of
human merriment and excitement, not compatible with indignation and denial.
To me if there's something funnier than people being sexual its people not
knowing or denying the possibility or actuality.  Sex always gets the
measure of us, brings us down to size.

Certainly you have the right to assert your intentions and clarify your
motives.  I respect that.  Indeed, as I compose this, I become more mindful
of how we all differ in ages, experiences, relationships, perceptions, that
what one finds easy another finds discomforting.  I want you to know you're
not being judged or criticized.  And hopefully, now, we are more aware of
each other's feelings and points of view.

As for the unkempt "threads,"--well--think of them as rocks that must be
lifted if you want to know what's under them.  Disorder trumps order here.
Relax the rules and go with the flow.  Let decency and good will continue as
your guide.  Keep faith with your delete button.

And feel free to email me direct whenever you want.

Steve M.


From: "Robert J. Pacheco" <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: Very Confusing
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 1999 18:31:16 EDT

Bobby

    Every morning i delete 7-10 messages that i don't have a clue of
subjects
that start without me.  I know about the baclofin pumps because i almost
had
one inplanted,  when i was helping Anee with her back pain, people
thought i
was getting sexual with her. when I was hepling tom with his problem
with his
pca/girlfriend, i had to take that private because i don't know what we
are
allowed to REALLY say on here. yes I have alot of input, but only things
that
are clear and straight foward. Do you understand?

With Open Eyes
Bob