In a message dated 6/10/00 9:46:14 AM Central Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

Dear Storti,

> When, and how, did you understand your future was in literature?

When I was fourteen and sitting in the basement at home a brilliant green
light shown in the window and suddenly I realized my destiny was to be a
writer. Before that I was confused about wanting to go to sea or be a
fireman. Being a writer seemed to combine all of my lack of talents into one
problem.

>  How could I get the competence to write best seller novels?

Learn to write very very simple sentences that anyone can understand about
boy meets girl and boy treats girl badly and girl loves boy and boy loves
porpoise (autobiography) so they all go live humpty humpty on an island and
very very brilliant baby porpoises learn to save the world. Sort of like
George Orwell on steroids, I predict human/animal stories are the next wave
in best sellers.

> What makes the difference between an author selling thousands and thousands
> of copies and an unknown author selling very few?

Money. If you don't have any then marry a wealthy woman. Marry several
wealthy women. Marry wealthy women that are editors for big magazines. If you
cannot marry a wealthy woman then you will have to get a job and you won't
have time to write anything worthwhile. Whatever you do, don't teach creative
writing.

>  Could you give me the address of some publishers I could send my novel
when I finish it?

No, sorry, no can do. You will have to ask the Ken Follett that writes those
best seller novels.

Ken Follett (not that guy, but thanks just the same)