Gosh, what a coincidence!  My listing in "The 2000 Outstanding Writers of the
20th Century" (for which I expect imminent delivery of my $165.00
"silver-toned medal, suitable for august occasions"), was closely followed by
my election for listing in "1000 World Leaders of Influence" - how about
that?

Now comes an invitation to become a "Deputy Director General of the
International Biographical Centre", which includes a personal letter
recommending an official ceremony with "Presentation by Your Mayor",  "the
right to organize Divisional Conferences and Seminars", "an Illuminated
Diploma of Authority measuring a massive 24 inches by 16 inches, printed in
four colours" and, best of all, "the right to use the initials 'DDG' after
your name".

It's only $1250.00.  Should I use Visa, Mastercard, Amex ... or Tapioca?

Love & Kisses,  Christopher