i do not know what to do.

basically i still eat raw vegan, but i am not balanced emotionally as
i
want to be, so sometimes (not often, fortunately) i resort to cooked
food
and junk food for comfort and pleasure (and maybe for health reasons,
as it
will become clear as you read on).

having said this, i want to ask why could it be that ANYTIME i eat
some
heavy junk food, then for a few days i no longer have any low blood
sugar
at all.
i have candida overgrowth in my intestine (according to dr. gabriel
cousens), and raw vegan means low blood sugar unless i rebound, lift
weights, sunbathe a lot, ride my bike, etc. (too tense, too much
sacrifice,
i want my blood sugar to be normal just because, i do not want to
"earn
it"). another bizarre thing is that the foods that make me feel the
worst
sugar-wise are... you guessed it: FRUITS !! i have way worse
hypoglicemia
when i eat ANY FRUIT than when i eat chocolate or anything with white
sugar, regardless of the quantities of either white sugar or
"unprocessed
natural health-promoting fruit sugar". this is crazy, according to the
gospel!! i mean, fruits make me feel SICKER for a long time, whereas
white
sugar does not!! i do not think eating white sugar is a good idea, of
course not, but i am just mentioning this in case somebody else has
similar
experiences. "fruit has fiber, so the sugar is absorbed slowly (the
time it
takes to digest fruit)" whereas "white sugar has no fiber, so when you
eat
it, oh, terrible, the sugar gets absorbed very fast, and it is almost
like
a drug, your sugar levels go to the sky, and then plummet, etc" my
body
says all this is FALSE. of course i am not very knowledgeable, so
simply i
do not know how having a candida overgrowth can relate to all this. or
maybe, when i eat refined sugars and/or flours i generally eat fat,
and
this slows it down, but no, if i eat avos with dates or bananas, it
does
not slow squat, i get the super sugar blues. but not with chocolate
with
pastry!! does anybody has any idea on this?? i am really curious,
besides
the fact that it gives me the chuckles just thinking about how
incredibly
dogmatic and rigid i have became regarding food, to the point that i
listen
more to the (in this case) meaningless theory instead of my wise
physical
body. i have been hyplogycemia-free also with cheese sometimes. cooked
vegetables do not help, potatoes do not help, avos do not help, what
is
worse, unprocessed cooked vegetable matter does not cut it either.
only
processed grains and cheeses.

whatever it is, or whatever combination of factors, it happens when i
eat
heavy food, preferably processed. this sounds like GREAT GREAT GREAT
Paul
Reynold's diet (thanks paul, i haven't laughed that hard in a long
time, i was crying and my face red, great -;)

what do you post-vegan-post-raw fooders think? similar experiences
anyone?

there is more. for a few days after i eat some junk, i regain the
pre-natural hygiene, pre all of this health stuff
normal-i-am-young-and-full-of-energy-all-the-time feeling i enjoyed
all of
my previous life. yes, i did not have candida, but it seems that junk
food
is so good somehow, that it even beats candida out!! my digestion goes
mad
with fruit sugar, but not nearly as mad with junk deadly white sugar!!
i
mean, think about it!! it is too funny, no?

the feeling i refered to above is like a base feeling: you are ok,
have no
serious health problems, and have LOTS of energy to do sports anytime,
anywhere. i used to feel like that all of my life until natural
hygiene and
candida. sometimes i hypothetize that my body is DYING for something
whatever macro nutrient/different source of energy, etc in junk that
is
lacking in almonds dates, avos, lettuce, etc. could it be that i need
grains, flours? maybe TONS of raw cheese? i read "we want to live"
recently, and i just could not believe my eyes!! and the book has been
praised (can i say praised?) here in this list. he recommends _butter_
with
_honey, basically as much as you _want_!! funny, funny, funny, when i
read
his explanations for the hospital staff (he gave honey-butter to his
dying
son, and also blended raw meat with i don't remember what, and sure
thing
his son reacted QUICK and was out of the woods) i was visualizing all
my
raw vegan "laws" and again LOL.

i said this here before: i am not attracted to raw meat of any kind.
and i
trust my body. i could be too brainwashed and out of touch though, and
not
recognize my need for it. but i think tomorrow i will get myself some
good
organic cheese and give it a try.

there is more. when i eat junk or dairy, i drink less water (again,
against
the theory has it that with junk your body is more intoxicated and
needs
more water to process the stuff, and also that junk food is generally
low
water, whereas "super-good-for-you-incredibly-healing-spiritual raw
vegan
digest oh so easily that you need very little water, if any).  my real
life
experience contradicts all this.

there is some kind of "life energy" that i lack with raw vegan but
achieve
fast with crap of any kind. any healthy alternative you guys can think
of??

btw i hope this helps others with similar experiences if you are
lurking
(or posting) out there.

regards,

axel makaroff

PS: i apologize to the list if i am being too personal, too boring,
too
whatever you might think. i just felt like sharing, and do not have
the
time to analize word by word if the message was appropiated enough for
this
list -;)