Hi Elizabeth,

        Thanks for your input - I shared the nursing home part. And with
Betty will just keep being my normal self. I imagine I won't transition into
a wheelchair very gracefully myself when the day comes - at this point I am
too stubborn. Besides any inactivity period has me becoming very stiff. I
have taken not being able to do things in stride so far, and have long since
forgotten what an absense of pain must feel like. Amber and I have learned
how to be a team and get things done despite our little inabilities. She so
cute now that she is my height and she says Mom let me do it - you'll hurt
yourself!

                            Brightest Blessings
                                 Trisha





> > Good Morning,
>
> >         My friend - who lives here in Alexandria has only taken to being
> in
> > wheelchair in the past two years. She is running up against the
> > discrimation/stigma and is naturally angry. I talk to her and let her
> vent
> > and she listens and gets heartburn on my behalf on the Pagan deal - it
> > outrages that I can lose my child because of this. I in turn don't
> > understand why her office can't be made more user friendly for her - she
> has
> > since retired and works with disabled in a Wildlife Program and
> homeschools
> > an ADHD child. How do I help her thru the anger - what good postive
> things
> > can I do - beyond being a good friend - there must be insights you have
> and
> > can share - I hope!!!
>
> I hope I can provide a few bits of insight.  Here goes anyway.  Your
friend
> is still in a stage where her whole life and roles have changed.
Suddenly,
> all her previous roles are gone and how to accomplishes anything now is
> different.  Her previous job should have accomadated any reasonable
> requests made by her.  Otherwise, it's a violation of ADA, a  federally
> mandated law.  I think you are already doing what any good friend should
> and that is let her vent.  Don't let her feel sorry for herself, but, let
> her vent.  She should also see if she can find a good support group in her
> area.  I learning to be a little hesitant in doing this because everyone
> has a different experience with support groups but, it is worth a try.
She
> needs to find support and services in working through redefining herself.
>
> >         Secondly, I am on a list for us older folks and a man recently
> > joined the list. He is a quadraplegic and  has been placed in a nursing
> home
> > by his wife of many years and hates it. He wants to go back to his home
> or
> > at least live independently - He is I think in Ohio. I am curious - can
> you
> > placed in a nursing against your will? What alternatives does he have?
> How
> > can we help?
>
>
> No, you can't be sent to a nursing home if you don't want to unless you've
> been declared incompetant.  Now, it's gets messy because, he may have
> signed over rights of power of attorney and medical decisions to his wife.
> A move many married couples do.  Now the other problem is finding support
> at home (especially if he is a total care patient).  Medicare has
> significantly cut back on home health payments so, unless he has a good
> supplimentaly policy, being in a nursing home may be the only way he can
> recieve the care he needs.  He may wish to contact the local Agency on
> Aging and see what services he can get in an environment that is more to
> his choicing.
>
> Best of luck to all of you.
>
>
>
>
> Elizabeth Thiers, OTR
> email: [log in to unmask]
> homepage: http://www.bv.net/~john/bethsot1.html
>
> ----------
>
> >
> >in