While allot of these issues are direcetly connected with CP, I think
allot of this has to do with our upbringing as well.  Like me, I'm
sure there have been those times for allot of you when you just felt
the need to laugh outloud, or cry or just get really pist off!!

You know it would feel so dammed good to just let it all go!!  I'm
allot better at letting that shit out now, but it is still something
that I stuggle with even at 47 years old.  Somewhere deep inside of
me, just as it was when I was a child, I'm still so afraid that if I
let the world see just how much I wanna laugh outloud or get really
pist, no one will want anything to do with me.  As a child, I was told
that if I was nice to everyone and just smile all the time, everything
would be juuuuust fine, and I could easily have whatever I wanted out
of life.  It was the day I learned just how much bull-shit all that
was, that got me started on the road to my own independence!!

Thanks-Gary


On Sat, 6 Feb 1999, Magenta Raine wrote:

> not laughter, but once i get going, i can't control my crying.
>
> mag
>