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From: | |
Reply To: | St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List |
Date: | Thu, 13 Jan 2000 12:25:08 -0500 |
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These are too funny!!
Trisha
"Medical Records, Part I"
These are doctors' notes on patients' charts:
(Actual notes - unedited!)
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side
for over a year.
2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the
3rd day it disappeared completely.
3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her
husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient has been depressed ever since she
began seeing me in 1993.
5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She
also appears to be depressed.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male,
mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused an autopsy.
9. The patient has no past history of suicides.
10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another
hospital.
11. Patient's past medical history has been
remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound
weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia
for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get
this lady pregnant.
14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband,
I thought you might like to work her up.
15. She is numb from her toes down.
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