Carol said:
>  Racism, after all, is an attitude; it is not in
> the ear of the beholder.

That is incorrect.

If you call me:

        "You Black *&%**^!!!!"

Then I don't care what you THINK your intentions are - your words
are racist. Racism is, in fact, "in the ear of the beholder."

The attitude you've expressed above is itself racist, in its
ignorance.

You said:
> To say that someone who does not hold racist
> beliefs is a racist just because their words have offended someone

Ah! Look what bubbles up when the pot is stirred!

You may THINK that you "do not hold racist beliefs." But if you
offend someone with your words - if you make racist statements -
then you do, indeed, hold racist beliefs - that you yourself aren't
even aware of!