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Subject:
From:
Ken Follett <[log in to unmask]>
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Date:
Sat, 5 Sep 1998 06:30:15 -0700
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SOS Gab & Eti 1.30

“Not having had the pedestal sink for six months, that was the final
straw. It was really unfortunate timing to remove the sink to work on
the 1" hex tile floor grout joints a few days before that car pulled in
front of my road bike while I was going 25 mph.  It's hard to scratch
those joints with a severely sprained wrist.  But your friend John
Leeke's tip about the linoleum knife was really good; I only wore down
to a nubbin four of them, instead of probably about forty of the little
teeny weeny tiny screw drivers...filing the knife blade point to a thin
profile works better than filing the screwdriver.  To paraphrase the
good man "Bleeding Knuckles" Murphy, there was much pretending: "Pretend
you are in your aerobics class - 'Come on now, scratch - scratch, work
it out - scratch - scratch - do it right - three - four - make it hurt -
three - four. Left hand - scratch - scratch - Right hand - scratch -
scratch. Can you feel the burn - scratch - scratch - work it out -
scratch - scratch' " Leo Badkare, Hexed in Raleigh

Dear Mr. Badkare: Did you sniff? I suppose you wanted your dear wife to
hold the pedestal sink for six months? Come on, man, your wife is
supposed to sit on the pedestal sink, not hold it! But I got to admit I
don’t get the part about the last straw. Eti and I recycle the ones with
the little kink in them. Was your wife driving again? If it was not a
family member that run you down on your mountain bike then you should be
able to collect a huge monetary settlement entitling you to a 70” TV
screen, new DVD equipment, a Lexus, a 37 foot catamaran sleeping six,
five weeks in Nova Scotia, and twenty shares of stock in BPF.
You should have written to me earlier when you got the sprained wrist. I
suppose your excuse is that your wife refused to hold the keyboard. Good
for her! Bad enough to have to hold all them shiny white fixtures. I am
proud that she put down her foot but am worried you were standing on
your good hand. Then again, If you had taken the time to write during
your time of excruciating pain, duress and anguish I would have sent you
instructions on how to hook up a water-pik to a 175 cfm air compressor
and a Hoover. That little water jet with accessories would have blown
and sucked the grout right out of your floor without narry a single
scratch. No more pretending?

--
][<en Follett
SOS Gab & Eti -- http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/5836

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