Ralph:
Regarding EIFS (flashing) details..they are there if the architect will search
them out (not just the Sweet's catalog).  We have a mfr (not a contractor)
check out details before bidding, restrict bids to only three mfr we trust
(there must be thousands), and require the successful mfr to verify
correctness and applicability of details before beginning work.

Regarding your sealant problems (pulling off surface), it sounds like
substrate movement and the surface to foam bond is the weakest.  Don't use the
material in working joints if possible (detail an expansion joint).

Bob Adams
Architect