Homeowner in New Jersey seeking proposals for roof/chimney restoration:

Damage caused by mysterious annual overloading of roof framing and the
repeated compression/dislodging of roof shingles requires immediate attention.
In addition, masonry joints between chimney brick have deteriorated from
repeated expansion and contraction apparently caused by the transit of a large
round body through the flue.  Strange hoof prints and linear tracks have also
been noted on the roofing surface, sometimes penetrating to the substrate.
Although the cause has not been determined, investigators at the scene have
noted the presence of red velvet fuzz and several long white human hairs
deposited on the interior surfaces of the flue.

Proposals seeking to determine the cause of this deterioration and repair
damage to structure should be submitted to this list, whereupon they shall be
forwarded to the mystified property owner.

Ho Ho Ho Enterprises, Inc.
Montclair, NJ

PS Happy Holidays!