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Date: | Tue, 16 May 2000 05:25:42 -0700 |
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I'll admit that after the toxic system with sisters and other dominant
females (amazon types), female relationships are problematic. The
dominance-template is continually projected and I am constantly
re-experiencing the tyrannical constraints of these relatioships
(suffocation) and immediately sever. then being alone again I
feel like I've re-entered Heaven. solitude is heavenly, interaction
seems toxic. but when it doesn't---when no dominance scheme is set-up
--I feel very relieved and happy but still prefer going solo. Same
thing with rel. of the opposite sex--if there's dominance, forget it
--the template is activated and all I want to do is get back to the
cabin. I have wonderful friendships in two separate elderly people
in their 80's who instill good old fashioned and religious values and
with them I feel safe--with the elders of the tribe. Otherwise, see
the book ECCENTRICS,about the increased happiness and longevity of
those who live alone--also known as cerebetonics (who relate
vertically
to God, not horizontally to their fellow man; and who have a fear of
disorder and chaos--which the human world often evokes) or also
SAVANT-AUTISTICS who are in their own little world and do quite well
there. I have many acquaintenances I can call on for help in any
situation, and have a respectful relationship with the townspeople
(I live ten miles from a two-horse town) and very cordial
relationships
when running errands there.
But I'm criticized by the FEMALES for being reclusive--since most
women
get their identities by HOW WELL THEY DO IN THE EYES OF THE
"HERD"--but
thanks to my history
I've graduated beyond this tendency and get mine from God and my own
ongoing creative work.
I have my sisters to thank for forming this solitary identity, so
good
comes from bad eventually.
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