In a message dated 98-04-14 11:40:25 EDT, you write:

<< Pet: (The Stubborn !@#$%^&* !@#$%^&* Person who refuses to use the
 Proper Time Zone and uses +0000 instead of PT and messes up everyone's
 Message Order so it looks like it was posted 8 - and now because of the
 Time Change 7 - hours earlier that it was.  [See next Post]) >>

Gregg,

Pet doesn't do it on purpose.  He exists outside of time in another dimension.
We can't see him.  He writes his reponses hours before we even post, and then
sends them via his lower chakra (base desires and internet connections).
There's a delay in connection time, so it shows up at just the right moment!
Energarians can do that!!

They can also get pay-per-view without paying!

<<WOW!!! - You are So Cosmic and Enlightened!!! - Can I please Bow Down
and Lie at your Feet?>>

You would be blinded my son.  Not until you are significantly purified could
you handle the LIGHT!  Have patience... fast for forty days and forty nights,
and abstain from sex for twelve years.  Then, maybe, with sun-glasses...

<<I thought we have 3 Gourmet Energarian Meals a day because>>

Absolutely!  Were we born with teeth!!  NO!!  Humans aren't meant to eat,
somewhere along the line people just became addicted to fruit, in the Garden
of Eden, and we adapted, but not really.  Breast feeding is just an Oedipal
thing.

<<<< you know all
the Great Energy they have up in the Mountains - Yum!!! Yum!!! - :)!!!>>

YES!!!  Currently, I'm building an Energarian tower that reaches into the
ozone so people can get ozone therapy and be closer to the sun, and get even
better energy!  Humans weren't meant to be on the earth!  Just look at your
soft feet. You need shoes to walk anywhere where there are rocks.  Humans
aren't land creatures, we aren't meant to walk.  Just look at children.  Do
they want to walk?? NO!  They lie there until they're forced by their parents
to crawl, and then they just sit in front of the TV to gather energy, until
someone forces them to walk to school.  Even then, as soon as they get a bike,
they ride it so that they can sit down again.  Humans aren't meant to move,
we're meant to just BE!!!

Anyway, Building on the Energarian Tower has already begun, but right now all
I have is two bricks I found when I was kid, a board with a rusty nail in it,
and an old step ladder, so funding is urgently needed!  Donations of over
$1,000,000 are accepted to help build the tower. It will be built in a secret
location, by secret energarians who have been waiting to go public for
centuries.  It will be completed when donations exceed $2 billion, and will be
high enough to be declared its own country so we don't have to pay taxes.  And
because there's no air up there, there's no worry about cravings.  No food, no
money.  Paradise!

NFL and Woody Harrelson's ex-cleaning lady are already scheduled to speak at
the opening!

Please send monies to the Sri Guru Aaron Fund.

aaron

p.s. just for the record, i was kidding ;)