As a follow up to the heliocopter joke - this is courtesy of Tony Roscillo,
owner of  Custom Computer Center; a friend and a former mason who decided to
get out of the construction industry and (cleverly) into computer systems -
however, the grass is not always greener ----

>  A guy calls tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
>  Tech: What's the problem?
>  User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
>  Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
>  User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
>  Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty.  You'll need to replace it.
>  User: No way!  Someone told me that I just needed to change the
startup
>  files and it will fix the problem!  All I need is for you to tell me
the command.
>  10 minutes later, the User is still adamant about being right.
>  The tech is frustrated and fed up.
>  Tech: Sorry, Sir.  We don't normally tell our customers this, butt
there
>   is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
>  User: I knew it!
>  Tech: Just add the line  LOAD NOSMOKE.COM  at the end of the
CONFIG.SYS.
>  Let me know how it goes.
>  10 minutes later.
>  User: It didn't work.  The power supply is still smoking.
>  Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
>  User: MS-DOS 6.22.
>  Tech: That's your problem there.  That version of DOS didn't come
>  with NOSMOKE.  Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that
>  will give you the file.  Let me know how it goes.
>
>  1 hour later.
>
>  User: I need a new power supply.
>  Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
>  User: Well, I called Microsoft and told him about what your said,
>  and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
>  Tech: Then what did he say?
>  User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
>