Hi. All!
Greetings from Co. Kildare, Ireland.

This is my first posting to the list and I'm hoping it'll be the first of
many.

It's interesting to note that there is a man by the name of John C. Pavao
subscribing to this list; interesting because there was a guy with the
same name subscribing to the lowcarb list a while ago.

Anyway the other John C. Pavao packed his suitcases weeks ago and
said he was going to work either in NJ or New England. He said he'd be
gone for three weeks. Well, lowcarb has heard nothing from him since!

The police were informed of his disappearence but, to date, can't throw
any light on it. They've said that if a grown up wants to take a hike
there's
nothing they can do about it.

Word about his disappearence went through the dieting world as fast as s***
through a goose. (If you want to know how fast that is, ask Ray). One low-
fat advocate suggested that he had gone to live in a cave and that he'd
been attacked and killed by a wolf. But we replied to this low fatter/
nutter that this couldn't have happened John, because he was armed with a
sharp stick,and that
he could easily stave off an attack from a wolf if he were, indeed, in a
cave. The low-fatnutter argued that as John didn't take dairy it was most
likely his stick
had osteoprosis and broke during the attack rendering him defenseless. Well
at least I think the word used was "stick"!

Not living in the U.S but aware that pictures of missing persons are placed
on milk cartons I got in touch with all the milk distributors I could find.
I
asked them if they were circulating pictures of John on their products and
they all replied in the affirmative. I tried to explain to them that I
didn't feel
John would like his photogtaph on a milk carton because he's Neantherthin
but I just couldn't get it through to them. All they would say was that
they
were glad that it was a good few months since January that he went missing
because if it had been before this they would only have been able to put
him
on their catering size packs such was his size.

Speaking of missing persons on milk cartons, do you remember when Lorena
Bobbit did the deed and threw the evidence out the car window? The police
found
the important piece very quickly. I reckon this was because they couldn't
afford it to appear on the milk cartons. "HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN......?".

So if you ever bump into your namesake, John C. Pavao, and he happens to be
the same one who used to liven up the lowcarb list, maybe you'd tell him
that
there are loads of people on that list who could do with his help and his
contribution to the lowcarb lifestyle. And maybe he might persuade a few of
them,
like he did with me, that Neanderthin might be worth a try. And also tell
him that
he is missed.

Kind regards, and steer clear of carbs,

Gatsby,

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