Hi everyone,

Thanks for making me feel so welcome to the group - I received so many
supportive notes.
One questions before I forget: How do I get off the list?  (Only
half-kidding)  Somehow I am receiving more than one of each message, so I
think I'm signed up more than once.
Regarding cravings, I have really struggled with this one.  My current
feeling is to trust my body (finally).  Previously, I simply decided to
transition to raw food (practically overnight), with no communication or
respect for my body and the foods it, and my family, have been eating for so
many years.  Basically, I really made my body angry.  I agree with you Ed:
 What we resist persists.  If we "can't have" something, of course we're
going to want it.
So I am presently giving myself permission to have whatever I want.  This is
so difficult!  I am amazed at how worried I am of what others will think of
me.  I've permitted myself everything from a piece of chicken (I've been
vegetarian for over ten years) to an ocassional egg and other stuff.  Most of
these things I had never really missed, until I made this more extreme step,
too fast, and brought up fears of starvation, deprivation, self-punishment,
social isolation, etc.  So, I am now striving for balance.  I can't fast for
awhile - each fast or cleanse seemed to trigger another binge or intense food
cravings.  I need to do whatever it takes to find balance and make peace with
my body.
I expect that, as I allow my diet to include more brown rice, tofu, grains,
veggie burritos, and other goodies I've craved but not often permitted
myself, my body may (or may not) stop craving them.  In truth, I feel that,
at least during transition, my body truly needs many of these foods
nutritionally - especially for someone with hypoglycemia like myself.  Too
much fruit simply did not work for me.
On a more Spiritual / emotional level, I believe I brought these food issues
up in my face to finally deal with them.  Food has always been an issue for
me (and many other people in this culture), to numb me out, resist feelings,
etc., but perhaps it never would have become obvious enough for me to deal
with.  I worked my way through the addictions and compulsive behavior around
alcohol, sex, drugs - even sports, travel, and more - but food is the
hardest, because we do need to eat (at least most of us do at this time).
So I'm trying to look beneath the cravings, and food is basically the
replacement for the love I feel I never got.  So, I'm trying to fill that
gap, truly loving and accepting myself, and hopefully getting food back to
the place it deserves, where I am eating only what  my body truly needs, when
 it needs it, in the amount  it needs.  Awareness and acceptance are the key
first steps.
I am also letting go of what others say and think.  If I've made mistakes
about raw or cooked or vegetarian foods or anything else in life, I need to
shift.  We are all different, at different stages or phases, and as Tom says,
we have no right to judge anyone else.  I invested heavily in the raw food
idea these past 3 years, but manbe, with my thin, vata constitution, living
in Seattle, with genes that have been programmed on cooked food for thousands
of years, maybe I'll never reach a raw food diet in this lifetime, and maybe
I'm closer to eating all raw than I realize -either way is fine.  I do like
some cooked food after a couple days of all raw food, but too much and I
really crave something raw and "live".
So, let's all just love and support one another on this journey, try to laugh
at our seriousness and aims at "perfection", and be  with Spirit, easing out
of our ego and intellect and into our bodies -  gently and lovingly.  Let's
pay attention, be flexible, and follow the path of love.  Remember, food is
only one (though tasty) tool to enlightenment.
Sending you love, peace, and bananas,

 Roy