Dear Boo,

This arrived today.  Seems to be from SOLGAR.

Love,

Dad


-----Original Message-----
From: James Doucette <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]>
Date: Monday, March 01, 1999 3:13 PM
Subject: [CHOMSKY] what employers/ees really mean


>What employers really mean when they advertise:
>
>1. "COMPETITIVE SALARY":
>We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
>
>2. "JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY":
>We have no time to train you.
>
>3. "CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE":
>We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
>
>4. "MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED":
>You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
>
>5. "SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED":
>Some time each night and some time each weekend.
>
>6. "DUTIES WILL VARY":
>Anyone in the office can boss you around.
>
>7. "MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL":
>We have no quality control.
>
>8. "CAREER-MINDED":
>Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way.)
>
>9. "APPLY IN PERSON":
>If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been
>filled.
>
>10. "NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE":
>We've filled the job; our call for resume is just a legal
>formality.
>
>11. "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF
>EXPERIENCE:"
>You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
>
>12. "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST":
>You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
>
>13. "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS":
>You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay
>or respect.
>
>14. "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS":
>Management communicates: you listen, you figure out what they
>want you to do and do it.
>
>And what applicants really mean when they say:
>1. "I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE
>ORGANIZATION":
>I've used Microsoft Office.
>
>2. "I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE":
>I pilfer office supplies.
>
>3. "MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES...":
>I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
>
>4. "I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK":
>I blame others for my mistakes.
>
>5. "I'M PERSONABLE":
>I give lots of unsolicited personal advice.
>
>6. "I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL":
>I carry a Day-Timer.
>
>7. "I AM ADAPTABLE":
>I've changed jobs a lot.
>
>8. "I AM ON THE GO":
>I'm never at my desk.
>
>9. "I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED":
>The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here
>
>
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