Hi-
I am lactose intolerant, so my experience is a little different than
yours.  I bet we still have a lot in common though!

> My question: how have some of you dealt with friends
> and family who, though they may not say it, think you're
> some kind of a "freak" and that your diet needs are just
> a total inconvenience for them??

There are people that "get it" and people that don't.  I have found that
some folks are really supportive and want to learn more about it.  These
people can get annoying because they only want to talk about your diet.
They are cool though because they will find things that you can eat and
they seem to see it as some kind of strange supermarket scavenger hunt.
Then you have to try to convince them that you aren't willing to eat just
any old disgusting thing, just because it won't make you sick.  People
with dietary restrictions are allowed to enjoy food, too!

Other people don't understand and seem unwilling to make the effort.  I
try not to take that personally.  It is just a limitation of their own
minds.  I think that they are just unable to comprehend not being able to
eat something as "wholesome and good" as milk ;), so they go into denial
about it.  I have family members who are convinced that my lactose
intolerance is all in my head.  Supposedly, if I don't know that
something contains dairy products, I won't get sick.  Obviously, if I
have to visit those people I take a "goodie bag" for myself.  Yes, there
are hurt feelings because it, but I am not willing to jeopardise my
health over them.

> I'm planning a two-week
> trip to Utah this summer, and, being on a rotation diet as
> well has having food limitations makes it daunting to
> think about.

There are a couple of books that you might want to look at.  One is "The
Tofu Tollbooth" by Dar Williams.  It contains listings, by state, of every
health food store in the US.  She also describes the kind of merchandise
you can buy in each store.  I have travelled some and I find that many
health foods stores have delis where you can buy "safe" foods.  If
nothing else, most of the people that work in health food stores have
some knowledge of, and respect for, special diets.  They will help you
find things that you can eat.

The other book is compiled by "Vegetarian Times" magazine and lists all
of the vegetarian restaurants in the US and Canada.  I realise that you
may not be vegetarian but the people that work in a vegie restaurant are
usually more educated on the food they serve than the average McDonald's
crew kid.  I find that they also tend to be more willing to work around
your requirements.

> Just looking for some support and ideas for how to cope
> on an emotional level.  Maybe I need to grieve my loss
> in some way??

I find that I get depressed about my diet when I focus on the things I
can't have.  There are a lot of really great foods that I can eat and
that is what I try to focus on.  I also don't think about the rest of my
life.  I know I will never eat ice cream again but I only think in terms
of no ice cream today.  Then I think about what I WILL eat today.

I think it is harder in the beginning because it is hard to think of stuff
you CAN eat.  With time, you will find yummy things in the grocery store
that you can still eat.  You will also probably start collecting recipes
for things that you like to cook for yourself.  I bet lots of the people
on this list have recipes that they would share with you if you have a
specific request.  (My recipes might not be helpful because they are
geered toward lactose intolerance more than allergies.)  There are recipe
archives for this list but I don't rememeber how to request them.
Someone else will help you with that, if you are interested.

> Thanks in advance,
> Nancy

Good luck!  It does get easier with time, I promise.
Take care,
Amanda