aloha!
	rawies & cookies,
		 	 last thursday i cycled on over to the hfs
(health food store) and foraged the aisles.  89 cents for huge organic
romaine lettuce.  and more...

	back home, sprawled on the couch.  while petting my cat upon my
lap (which feline at this moment lays upon my seated thighs), i reached
for and devoured another proud romaine leaf.  breathing, closing my eyes,
i opened them to find an amazing sight.

	a moth on my meal.  about the size of a silver dollar.  i cracked
the leaf from its base and brought the winged visitor in for a closer
look.  inches from my eye, i noticed the amazing patterns and legs and
head and abdomen and wings and dust and wings...

	holding the big brown guy (gender unknown) upon the bigger green
leaf provided exceptional clarity of obervation.  trembling moth.
bruno's stressometer flashed in my mind.  moth walks onto my finger.  i
drop the lettuce, and max(cat) looks up.

	curious cat.  here, look at this.  grandmother max maintained her
equanimity while sniffing my finger.  the moth didn't provoke her.

	placing hand on lap, the moth walks off into the unknown.  his
path leads him to pass directly in front of max.  max attacks.

	claw paw!  and the moth in the claw paw, up, up, towards the
gaping jaws!

	...and the moth falls to the side and continues on hir way.
[timothy leary, who will orbit the earth with gene roddenberry and others
{or at least a portion of their respective ashes}, created "hir" as a
gender-neutral word.]

	i let moth crawl on back of hand.  (okay, i placed my hand in the
projected path of moth)

	"crawl onto my palm, and i'll eat you," i thought.  max slept.
not her destiny to eat moth tonight.  thoughts of native views flashed...

	...indigenous attitudes towards hunting, where the spirit of the
animal receives thanks & blessings & respect & gratitude for *giving*
itself.  please the deer spirit and another deer will offer their life.

	vegan-bodhi resonated with natives in many areas, but the food
trip got difficult at times.  vegan vision had me seeing the accounts of
plains indians living on a buffalo flesh in a much different light than
now.

	now.  now i feel closer to native nutrition.  and not just
because of ronald schmids book (though it did help!  and still does!).
through zephyr, kirt, ward, bruno, and others, i have found something
very precious.  wild eating leads to wild thinking.  and wild living.  to
fully understand what i mean by *wild*, please focus your attention on a
collection of essays by my favorite poet:

			the practice of the wild

				by gary snyder

	good ole' gary.  inspires me with his mountain living and zen
meditation and into infinity.  highly reccomend anything you can find by
him (used book store poetry cases encouraged).

	eating omniraw, i feel *wild*.  i yearn to lay on the beach, hike
through the redwoods, and frolic in the sun.  nude gardening & reading in
a sunbath (& herbal bath, but i'll bring that up in another post).  the
red snapper, cod, & halibut that i got with the romaine produced intense
odors while laying in the dehydrator.  red snapper went first.  the next
day, the cod.  leathery/crusty exterior and moist, white flesh interior.
halibut dried most of the way and inhabits my fridge now.

	eating seafood brings me closer in spirit and flesh to the tribes
that inhabited my birthplace.  near sechelt, on the sunshine coast of
british columbia, the sechelt tribe ate great quanities of sealife.  how
great i feel to not reject that integral aspect of their existence.

	moth.  crawled onto my palm and remains there, vibrating.
holding my hand up in a half-prayer, i contemplate the moth spirit.
thank you, o moth of brown wing & deep beauty, for offering yourself.
may your sacrifice feed this body, mind, & spirit so that i too may one
day offer myself to a greater good.  i accept your generosity.

	"bodhi, are you still a buddhist?  how can you be a buddhist if
you kill?"  my good friend from high-school implored me as i visited him
last week.  he eats a lot of algae, but no moths.  at least, not
intentionally.

	"i eat everything i kill.  i cause no unnecessary harm,
harvesting life as quickly & painlessly as i can.  i consider myself a
buddhist & a compassionate carnivore.  you can call me anything."

	omnivorous omniscience.  sp?

	moth in the palm of my hand.  a third of an hour contemplating,
thanking, thinking, accepting, respecting.  gently, i bring the romaine
up and moth climbs aboard.  breathing, noticing, eyes wide open, i see
moth come to a stop.  so beautiful.  i close the leaves quickly and
firmly.  the result looks more interesting than beautiful to this eye.

	with a head on one half leaf and most of a body on the other, i
took in the whole scene of my mashed moth.  body sauce oozed a pale beige
onto the brilliant green romaine.  breathing, grokking.  breathing, then
licking, chewing, tasting...

	... or not tasting, in this case.  spiders  have registered a
similar lack of flavor, unlike ants which burn the tongue like hot chili
peppers!  mostly i allowed my heart to slow from the tremendous emotion
involved in my first moth merging.

	and the sun still shines.

	and don't worry about max missing moth, 'cause she got some good
gulps of snapper before i finished it.  she loves egg whites fresh and
even three days later at floor temperature.  she gets quite a steady
supply of egg white, most of it coming from judys farm.  certified
organic eggs.  "old fashioned" proclaims the egg carton.  along with that
comes this not-so-often-termed-old-fashioned information:

				visit our website: www.judysfarm.com

	o yea!  for easy access, click/copy/cut this:

					http://www.judysfarm.com/

	official site of eggs i eat.

	i see a white moth fluttering in the sunshine outside my
double-glass door that gives the most natural lighting in this
unhygienically-constructed studio apartment.  chemical walls & carpets.
i don't ask anyone to fear the world, just keep the vision of it
changing.  see it.  believe it.  vision becomes reality.  work on your
vision.  and if you feel so inclined, please share it with me.  i read
raw-food, raw, bionomic forum, & veg-raw, along with all my personal
email, not to mention snail mail, phonecalls...  sometimes i feel more
*domesticated* than *wild*.  time to hang from a bar, or stand on my
head, or take a shower.  water changes me!  the way of water, friends...
and breathing deep in the sun.  get out there and live raw & wild!


invisible awareness,
		    bodhi


first to come in was a flyin' moth uh-huh
first to come in was a flyin' moth uh-huh
first to come in was a flyin' moth
she layed out the table cloth' uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh
			_froggie_went_a_courtin'_ from
			 "good as i been to you" by bob dylan

next to come in was the old gray cat uh-huh
next to come in was the old gray cat uh-huh
next to come in was the old gray cat
swallowed the mouse and ate up the rat uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh
			_froggie_went_a_courtin'_ from
			 "good as i been to you" by bob dylan