Hello all,
Remarkably, I had tons of energy today.  Spent a long time at the gym
which felt good.  I hope this continues.  While walking to the gym this
morning, I had the thought, "Do I tell my body what to do, or does my
body tell me what to do?"  I'm sure you can all guess where I am...the
former , of course.  When I listen to my body, it's not me making
decisions, so change is very easy.  When I set down rules which end up
forcing my body into a corner, I end up with struggle.  Now that I'm
aware that I do that, watching myself might be a little easier, "UUh!
Meredith, you're doing controlling your body again."
	
I still have issues with hunger.  I can usually tell when I am hungry,
but I wait till I'm really hungry (not good!).  This part is easy.
Stopping before I've eaten too much is the tricky part.  I've been
playing around with eating at different times of day, eating different
kinds of food, etc. I've always been a black and white thinker.  All or
none. I get secret thrill out of having hardly anything in my fridge.
But then there will be times that I panic because it's so bare.  I know
this has to do with my growing up and food always being scarce or scarfed
(my two older brothers!)  I'm doing these little exercises to prove to my
irrational side that food can always be found wherever one is.  Bringing
food down to "It's only fuel" is going to take more time (a lifetime maybe?)

You know when some people "go on a diet" and then fall off, or dream of
the moment the "diet" is over?  I've finally reached a point where I'm
eating the food I love...in a sense, there is no going back because there
is no back to go back to.  Of course I have a few favorites that I've
decided to have from time to time now.  When there is no need for them,
then I won't have them.  I figure, if I focus on 70% raw, then if on
occasion I have 30% non-food/garbage, then it's OK.

The other thing is that I've decided not to go into detail about my
eating habits.  I made the mistake of telling a few people (three years ago)
that I was vegan.  Two years later I had something at one of the graduate
student parties, and one of the same people said,"I thought you were
vegan."  I found myself spending time defending my action and explaining
why I did it.  As long as I feel comfortable with what I am doing have
and have a place like veg-raw to ramble, then there is no need for me to
label myself.  If I make my label known, then I've made it easier for
everyone to figure out what I'm all about.  On the other hand, if they
see me eating raw for a period of time, and then see me chowing on
jellybellies...now that will throw them for a loop.  I finally feel like
I'm on the right track eating a lot of raw.  And only now does it make
sense why I always felt crappy eating my lentils, black beans, dahl, etc.
 Basically, I was feeding my body cooked slop all of the time.

Winter is on it's way (Am I the only one on the east coast?), so I'm a
little worried about eating raw in the winter.  I tend to get cold easily
anyways, so I am preparing to get better long underwear.  What about
food?  Is winter a better time to eat more nuts or dried fruit?  I'll
take any ideas or suggestions that people may have.  Some guy who works
at Bread and Circus(local healthy (relative to regular ones) supermarket)
said I won't be able to do it and that I should go macro during the cold
months.  No fruit, no salads, no red peppers?  I don't think so.

Ramble, ramble, ramble.  Also, for those who exercise...I do about 60-90
minutes of cardiovascular ex. a day.  Nutrition-wise, is there anything I
should know?  My main goal is to keep the energy that I had today.
Until next time,
Meredith