> One vice I have tried to give up time and time again is coffee.  I don't
> know what it is, but I really resist.  Other things like cigarettes
> (nasty, I know) and alcohol were easy.  The strange thing is that after I
> drink it, I feel a little not so ggod, yet I continue doing the same
> thing day after day.  Luckily, I have it limited to that one cup in the
> morning.  I can't even really enjpy it that much because it is something
> I don't want to do (maybe I do?!).  After the morning coffee and a bagel,
> I can go on with my day eating only veggies and fruits.

While I'm not on any particular path (i.e. 100%
raw/instincto/what-have-you) Coffee is definately something I want out of
my life.  I love the taste and I love the high, but the negative effects
just aren't worth it.  For a while I figured I'd let myself have a cup
every few weeks/months whatever, just for old-times sake, but I can't.
Maybe I'm just easily addicted, but if I have one cup, I'm screwed, and
I'll be drinking a cup or two a day for weeks until I can wean myself off
of it.  Perhaps I can share with you some of my insights.

First of all, for many years of my life, coffee was a work phenomeon.  I
drank my first cup and work and reveled in the energy in imparted in me.
I started drinking several cups a day for this reason.  Next, coffee
became a social thing.  I rarely drank alcohol, instead I went for coffee
with people.  At least once, maybe two times a day, sitting in a cafe,
getting buzzed and chatting about everything, or sometimes even just
reading by myself and enjoying that feeling you described as "being
around people but not being around people"   It's been long haul to my
current status:  I'm clean about six months at a time and then go on a
binge and fight my way back.

A few things I noticed a long the way:

A lot of my perceived need for coffee wasn't it's physically addictive
properities, but rather an internal fear that I would not have enough
energy to do my job or complete whatever tasks I had ahead.  I work in a
nightclub and use a huge amount of energy to get through the night - it's
very high stress/pressure environment, but I thrive off it.  Anyways,
what I started to discover was that a) I got energy from my work, not
from coffee.  No matter how tired I was at the start of the night, within
half and hour I'd be on top of the world until the end.  I had always
attributed that effect to coffee and figured that if I didn't have a cup
or two before work, I'd be toast. b) I learned to push myself to do
things, even if I was tired.  I realized that most people I know had
learned this at some point, to push themselves, to give themselves that
extra boost to complete some job.  I had always acomplished this with
coffee.  So I to start challenging myself to just "go for it".  If I
started to feel tired I'd say "Screw it!" and find something to do that
would get me going."   c)  I noticed that even when I did feel tired, it
was always a transient feeling.  If I rode it out I would come out with
more energy in half an hour or so.  In the past I would just pump in
another espresso at the first signs of fatigue.

So to get to where I am, I've had to challenge my habits and fears and
push myself through the initial physical withdrawal symptoms.  I have
found that in order to really quit, you have to go a few months - if I
quit for a week, the urge to have a cup is still quite strong.

One of the first ways I started to combat the coffee bug was to ask
myself, "If I'm not going to rely on coffee for that extra push, what
other lifestyle changes can I make to increase my energy?  What do I do
that makes me tired?  What do I do that gives me energy?"  This is
what pushed me to raw foods, I noticed that on raw fresh fruit I had/kept
my energy level and that as soon as I had some bread, for instance, I
fatigued.  Bread seemed to be the kicker for me - I could go on fruit and
cooked/raw veggies and be fine.  i.e. cooked veggies did not bring me
down.  Bread and heavier things like nuts did.

I also started to excerise more, ride my bike more etc etc.  Those all
helped.  I'm just over the hump of my last binge - it's been a week or
so.  I've been thinking about having a cup, on and off all week.
Yesterday I gave myself a really good workout, the best I've had in quite
some time and I was hyper for 12 hours after - I couldn't sleep until
5am!  I'm going to be starting a fulltime day job soon and I'm going to
try and workout or swim, every morning before work.  (oh yeah - swimming
- jumping in a cold pool at 7am *really* starts your day off right - I
had *NO* desire for coffee after doing that!)

> I've also had to confront my fear of hunger.  That is one thing that has
> been known to worry me.  If I know I won't be around food for 5 hours and
> am not hungry before-hand, it has been my tendency to eat anyways
>because  maybe I'll starve to death (yeah, right!).  Has anyone else had anxiety
> over this at all?

YESSS!!!   Another place I've had to challenge my neurosis and say "F*ck
it!  I'm *NOT* going to starve, I might be hungry, but I'm *NOT* going to
starve, so just go for it and deal with the consequences."  Invariably,
if I did get hungry, it came nowhere close to my initial apprehensiveness.

So good luck - you're not alone - any questions, comments, email me or
the list.