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Subject:
From:
john schwery <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
The Electronic Church <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sat, 10 Jan 2015 12:42:06 -0500
Content-Type:
text/plain
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text/plain (169 lines)
Pat and all, you are welcome.

earlier, Pat Ferguson, wrote:
>Dear John,
>
>I love those and I did save them. lol.
>
>Thanks so much for sharing.
>
>
>Thanks much.
>
>Many Blessings,
>
>Pat Ferguson
>"I can Do all Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me" Philippians 4:13.
>
>At 07:50 AM 1/10/2015, you wrote:
>>Some old, some new.
>>
>>text of forwarded message follows:
>>>From: Hand In Hand <[log in to unmask]>
>>>
>>>*A SPECIAL KIND OF HUMOR*
>>>
>>>*LOT'S  WIFE *The Sunday School teacher was 
>>>describing how Lot's wife looked back and 
>>>turned into a pillar of salt, when little 
>>>Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once 
>>>while she was driving," he 
>>>announced  triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone  pole!"
>>>
>>>*GOOD SAMARITAN* A Sunday school teacher was 
>>>telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan.
>>>
>>>She asked the class, "If you saw a person 
>>>lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"
>>>
>>>A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."
>>>
>>>
>>>*DID NOAH FISH? *A Sunday school teacher 
>>>asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"
>>>
>>>"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
>>>
>>>*HIGHER POWER *A Sunday school teacher said to 
>>>her children, "We've been learning how po 
>>>powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power.
>>>
>>>Can anybody tell me what it is?"
>>>
>>>One child blurted out, "Aces!"
>>>
>>>
>>>*MOSES AND THE RED SEA *Nine-year-old Joey was 
>>>asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
>>>
>>>"Well, Mum, our teacher told us how God sent 
>>>Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission 
>>>to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he 
>>>reached the Red Sea, he had his army build a 
>>>pontoon bridge and all the people walked 
>>>across safely. Then he radioed headquarters 
>>>for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow 
>>>up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
>>>
>>>"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his Mother asked.
>>>
>>>"Well, no, Mum, but, if I told it the way the 
>>>teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
>>>
>>>
>>>*THE  LORD IS MY SHEPHERD *A Sunday  School 
>>>teacher decided to have her young class 
>>>memorise one of the most quoted passages in the BibleĆ¢€Ā¦ *Psalm
>>>23*.
>>>
>>>She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.
>>>
>>>Little Rick was excited about the task but he 
>>>just couldn't rremember the Psalm. *
>>>
>>>After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
>>>
>>>On the day that the kids were scheduled to 
>>>recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous.
>>>
>>>When it was his turn, he stepped up to the 
>>>microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my 
>>>Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."
>>>
>>>
>>>*UNANSWERED PRAYER *The preacher's 
>>>five-year-old daughter noticed that her father 
>>>always paused and bowed his head for a  moment before starting his sermon.
>>>
>>>One day, she asked him why.
>>>
>>>"Well, Honey," he began, proud that his 
>>>daughter was so observant of his messages. 
>>>"I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon."
>>>
>>>"How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.
>>>
>>>
>>>*BEING THANKFUL *A Rabbi said to a precocious 
>>>six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your 
>>>prayers for you each night? That's very commendable.  What does she say?"
>>>
>>>The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
>>>
>>>
>>>*UNTIMELY ANSWERED PRAYER *During the 
>>>minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud 
>>>whistle from one of the back pews.
>>>
>>>Tommy's mother was horrified.
>>>
>>>She pinched him into silence and, after 
>>>church, asked, "Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?"
>>>
>>>Tommy answered soberly, "I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!"
>>>
>>>
>>>*TIME TO PRAY *A pastor asked a little boy if 
>>>he said his prayers every night.
>>>
>>>"Yes, Sir." the boy replied.
>>>
>>>"And, do you always say them in the morning, too?" the pastor asked.
>>>
>>>"No sir," the boy replied. "I ain't scared in the daytime"
>>>
>>>
>>>*ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS *When my daughter, Kelli, 
>>>said her bedtime prayers, she would bless 
>>>every family member, every friend, and every animal (*current and past*).
>>>
>>>For several weeks, after we had finished the 
>>>nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls."
>>>
>>>This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.
>>>
>>>My curiosity had the better of me and I asked 
>>>her, "Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?"
>>>
>>>Her response, "Because everybody always finish 
>>>their prayers by saying 'All Men'!"
>>>
>>>
>>>*SAY A PRAYER* Little Johnny and his family 
>>>were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.
>>>
>>>Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.
>>>
>>>When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
>>>
>>>"Johnny!  Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother.
>>>
>>>"I don't need to," the boy replied. "Of 
>>>course, you do" his mother insisted. "We 
>>>always say a prayer before eating at our 
>>>house." "That's at our house." Johnny 
>>>explained.  "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"
>>text of forwarded message ends:
>>
>>John

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