I guess we all have felt at times as though we knew in our heads that
God loved and accepted us, but then logic said it wasn't so.
There are many questions to which I don't have answers, I know that the
Old Testament was written when people were under the law, each section
had to be kept, I am certainly that God turned from seeking justice, to
mercy in sending Christ. It makes me feel good to see stories of people
like me who worried, as when David wrote how long will my enemies... and
verses that describe his tears through the night. He was certainly a
man with faults, yet he loved God.
Maybe feelings of not being sure of God's love have to do with your past
in some way. Were you sure of your parent's love, was it given freely
or was it something that had to be earned and kept by doing the right
things? Sometimes I think I viewGod as I do my parents, I
can'tunderstand how He could love me, surely it can't be this easy, He
must be terribly disappointed. God's definition of what love is, and
mine aren't the same. I have a dictionary that says that love must be
earned, one can never be certain of it, rules must be kept if one is to
be loved and accepted, you must work to be accepted. But God says He
loves me, He is aware of all my faults, and yet He loves me, and even
more, his Love will not go away, even if I do the wrong thing, say the
wrong thing, or admit to having feelings of doubt, He still loves me.
These are just my thoughts.
I do hope you are feeling better, do take care of yourself, get enough
rest, and drink fluids. Try not to worry, makes a person feel worse,
praying for God's peace to surround you, and the reality of His love to
be evident in your heart!!!!
Rhonda
----- Original Message -----
From: "Chris Gilland" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, December 08, 2003 11:58 PM
Subject: Guess who's back!
> No, it's not me writing, it's my guidedog. LOL! OK, I don't even
have a
> guidedog. LOL! Anyway, yes, it's me...
>
> I really don't feel quite adiquit to say much at this point. A lot of
very
> very emotional things have happened to me since I left, and really I
don't
> quite know how yet to best word it... Physically, i'm ok, but
emotionally,
> and mentally, I'm a wreck. It got so bad that i gave myself neumonia
for
> about 2 weeks close to 2 and a half... i'm ok now though... I'm not
gonna
> really say more right now except that I've majorly gone down a very
bad, and
> very dangerous road... I mean, it's like on one hand, i do, but on
the
> other hand, I don't wanna get better... i've gotten, I guess, so
confused,
> that now, I almost kind a feel like people have told me over and over,
God
> loves you, and this, and that, but, how do you really truely know
it... I
> mean, how do you really truely know that it's true... see, I'm not
meaning
> purposely to doubt, it's just that how can one believe when even on
faith
> i've gone feeling that he loved me, well, not so much feeling, as
> believeing, but yet, don't feel loved. Then, this also led me to
another
> question: if God's so quote: unquote: righteous, then why,
especially in
> the old testament, was he always demonstrating his wrath, more than
his
> love... he killed everyone except Noaa and his family, he allowed Job
to
> suffer, he destroyed the walls of a city in jeraco, i mean he made it
where
> all people couldn't understand each other, thus, making it harder to
witness
> to other nations without the need for translators, etc. See what I
mean?
>
>
> So, then in the new testament, we hear some about God, but it's more
based
> on grace, of Christ, not of God. So, see, that in itself to me,
almost
> sounds like a contradiction. And lastly, as many religions as there
are in
> the worlde, how do we know that Christianity is right. I mean
Bootests will
> tell you that there's is right... we will tell others ours is right...
Jews
> will tell people that there's is right... Hendews will tell that
there's is
> right, etc. Everyone seems to be stuck on my? my? my? rather than
what
> really does the quote: creator of the universe, really want us to
think as
> one in a whole is right... i mean, I don't think one religion should
bash
> anyone elses deity under my opinion. i think it's kind a whatever we
in our
> hearts think is true. i dunno, maybe I'm majorly just screwed up in
the
> head, don't know... anyway, if anyone has any comments, you can write
on
> list, or off list to:
>
> [log in to unmask]
>
>
> Take care...
>
>
> Chris.
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