Steph,

I think I have some understanding about having trouble trusting other Christians.  I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, after many years of thinking, as did my parents, and probably many, if not all, the believers I’ve shared my evil thoughts and inner responses to them, as temptations from the devil.  I’m sure the devil used it to his advantage, and so, in a way, I would call part of it temptation and no excuse on my part to make an effort of putting other thoughts in my mind.  I’m learning that I should not try to make myself stop those inner responses, but to focus on doing, as in the action of doing something else, such as thanking God that he has delivered me from this and the promises and comforting words He has given me over time. I can also just think and do other things.  I’ve had a terrible time about just handing it all over to The Lord, and feeling as if I need to make myself stay in the dreaded pain I had to go through to get to victory.  But I need to remind myself that the way to let Him take over is not to try, but to take clear-cut action to think and do something
>  else.  So please remember that you’re not alone in this kind of mistrust of other christians because our issues seem weird or be misinterpreted thus we don’t want to describe it all.  thank You Jesus for steph’s victory!

Praying friend,


> On Apr 8, 2017, at 10:09 PM, Stephanie Mitchell <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> 
> Hi All,
> 
> I've been reading the posts here, and feel I need to write this message. Somehow, I know this is a good place to put my thoughts out here. Some things have been swiming around in my head of late and need to be heard from someone.
> 
> I'll start be telling you all, I know the power of prayer and that it works! I won't go in to huge detail here, as well... I'm still learning to trust christians as many think I'm a bit strange with all this.
> 
> Anyway, I met my stepfather and mum again with my 3 kids for the first time in 7 years. I had a plan to meet them in a public place as enough felt (and still do) that was necessary for our safety. They never abussed me in the pfyical sense, but a lot of emotional stuff. During that meeting, I had 2 people praying for me. One many miles away. Both know the power of prayer, and the fact that when ever I go to meet the family, or gone to my hometown things went strange. The last time, 7 years ago, all the kids came down with gastro, we were delayed 3 days leaving to come home, and I got seriously sick on the way home. The time before that, the car broke down on the way home. See the patern? I decided this time would be different. This time, I was going to stand in the blood of Jesus, no matter how difficult. I was going to allow him to do what I knew couldn't be done.
> 
> I confided a month ago to these 2 friends (the ones who prayed during the meeting with mum) and told them how I felt that my family of origin had some sort of spiritual hold on my kids and me; that I was seriously concerned about the backlash I would receive from seeing them, and the fact that every time, I've experienced serious stomach upset and headache, and also shutdown and be unable to respond when around my parents. To my surprise, both these people, (one of which helps with a prayer ministry locabbly) agreed with me, offered me scripture and encouragement and prayer.
> 
> Now I'll tell you what hastpened. There was some spiritual stuff that happened, but I had agreed with my friend that I would text them if things started going down, and text to keep them posted.
> 
> We had a 12 hour drive split over 2 days. The morning we were due to leave, we forgot some of our stuff, and had to retrieve it. I sent a text as I felt Satan  was already starting. I was praying also of course. We arrived fine, and then things started again. My sister rang to change the location which I'd spent several emails and phone calls arranging. In spite of a lot of resistance, it was worked out. My sister wanted to change it to my mother's place, and I said no. Then she got annoyed about that. She rang again the next day (the day of the meeting) and tried again, but again, I said no.
> 
> The meeting took place, and I will admit the kids had a ball. But there was a spiritual undercurrent. I saw Satan at work. Little things such as the following:
> My daughter said she hated school, and my stepfather asked her why. My daughter said she didn't know, and my stepfather asked if it was because she was bored. My daughter said yes, and my stepfather went on and on, asking why I hadn't spoken to the scheol etc. Then there was the cell phone. My daughter is 13 and we have decided not to give her a phone due to cyberbullying and the fact that we are always heme etc. My stepfather and sister went on and on about how I'm putting my daughter at risk, how I need to reconsider my stance. I just ignored it all, but unlike other time, did not shut down, or feel hearful. I left at 3 pm, beyond relieved it's over.
> 
> My daughter wants mum's email address, but I'm reluncant, as I'm worried my parents will use her to get at us. I know it sounds strange, but when your own mothers reports us to dhs for things that never happened and doesn't tell us their concerns, and don't respect me as a parent it makes me weary.
> 
> We also ran out of money so had to return home early. I'm relieved to be away from my home town. I'm just not sure where to go from here. I don't really want any more contact. I just want to keep living my life. I am feeling that emotionakly the healing is not quite done yet, as the visit is still very much on my mind and the emotions are still flowing. I'm feeling scared of what might happen, my bible reading I know I need to get back in too as I haven't read it for 6 months.
> 
> Steph