Okay, at the risk of continuing to whine about this.  There is a story in
the news today that might help to explain what I had such a hard time
explaining in my previous notes about how I've been feeling lately.

The story in the news is about an Australian airplane pilot who is an
explorer and ended up in Antartica, where he ran out of gas.  The United
States (which has bases there) refuses to give him gas to fly home, because
they think it will encourage others to fly up there and the rules are that
if you show up you've got to have a means to get yourself out.  They did
offer to give him transportation home, but he will have to leave his
airplane there.  He refuses to leave the plane and is hoping the Australian
government will intervene or the United States will change their mind.

How does that relate to me?  I feel like I'm the airplane pilot who has been
going along in life and now finds himself alone and out of emotional gas.
I'm asking the LORD (the United States in this parable) to provide a sweetie
but He seems to be refusing, saying, move on with life such as it is and
leave all thought of companionship behind, just be prepared to go it alone
in the human sense.  So there I am, do I keep asking the LORD and hope He
provides a sweetie or do I just move on and leave all hopes of companionship
behind to face whatever is left of life alone?  (Since at this stage finding
a wife is unlikely anyway.)

And just to end the note on a high note, my praise is that the anniversary
of my getting sick last year has passed and I'm still chugging along.
Smile.  It knocked me off track for the whole year, basically, but hopefully
(there's that word again) I'll get back into stride and 04 will be what I
thought 03 would.

Paul