Hi Sylvia,

Where do you currently live and where did you live before?  Just curious.

Howard #3

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Sylvia Bernert" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, June 01, 2013 11:00 AM
Subject: Re: sighted wife


>I think the biggest challenge both my husband and I have being totally 
>blind
> is transportation.  I'll admit, where we originally moved from was a lot
> better in terms of transportation accessibility.  We just didn't feel safe
> raising small children in such a harsh environment at the time.  When we
> moved to our current location transportation was fairly accessible.  The
> buses especially.  Now that our town is growing, the transportation system
> is horrible.  We're thinking that once our children are up and out we 
> might
> move back to our original spot so we can get around by ourselves again.
>
> In the meantime we're looking forward to the time when our oldest son can
> drive.  That's still a few years yet.  It will be nice to have that 
> freedom
> to go whenever whereever we want to without our entire neighborhood 
> knowing.
> It's hard enough to have to ask people for rides to places, especially
> places we NEED to go.  On the other hand, we feel guilty asking people for
> rides to go and do fun things especially with our kids.  I can't imagine
> what it would be like to go on a romantic get-a-way by ourselves, dates,
> etc.  When you're having to depend on others for transportation, you're
> basically at their mercy.  You come and go on their terms, when it's
> convenient for them, not yourself.
>
> But we were both too young and dumb at the time we got married and didn't
> think about some of these minor details at the time.  But we just go forth
> doing the best we can and realize we have these limitations that we can't 
> do
> anything about right now.  We live life to its fullest and be happy.
>
> Sylvia Bernert
> "If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it."
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: For blind ham radio operators [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
> On Behalf Of Steve
> Sent: Saturday, June 01, 2013 8:45 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: sighted wife
>
> I have been married to a sighted person as well as a blind person.  For
> whatever its worth, my blind wife and I had some issues so we split up, 
> but
> have since re-married.
>
> I think there is a bit of a "blind culture" a that many of us share.  It
> doesn't mean that you will necessarily have a better marriage, but you 
> learn
> to deal with the challenges i.e. mainly transportation.  To some extent,
> with both of us blind, we choose to live in an area with good public 
> transit
> which maximizes our independence.  Through the use of assistive 
> technology,
> we rarely have to use others to help with stuff.  We have two sighted sons
> who at least right now, live nearby i.e. within fifteen miles.
>
> Being pretty independent for my adult life, my sighted wife used to 
> complain
> that she could do some things faster than I could.  I think that ended up
> being an issue, because I didn't want to become dependent even though, for
> example, she could cut my hour ride to work using the bus to less than
> twenty minutes.
>
> Steve, K8SP
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Steve Dresser" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Thursday, May 30, 2013 4:13 PM
> Subject: Re: sighted wife
>
>
>> Sylvia,
>>
>> I am totally blind, and have been married to my second wife (also totally
>> blind) for almost sixteen years.  My first wife was also totally blind,
>> and
>> although our marriage ultimately ended, our blindness wasn't the issue.
>>
>> I used to think that two blind people marrying each other was the best
>> choice, but now I think it's more important to base the relationship on
>> shared values and beliefs.  Others on this list have mentioned the power
>> dynamics between blind and sighted partners, and I have to agree that 
>> this
>> can certainly become a problem if not properly addressed.  I also think
>> that
>> any other issue you can name can also destroy a marriage if the partners
>> can't find a way to work it through.  My present wife and I have often
>> commented on how much easier things would be if one of us could see.