Steve,

I think independence has to be a very important issue when one partner can 
see and the other can't.  It's tough to find the right mix of independence 
and willingness to accept help from your partner.  I'm not sure how I'd deal 
with that issue, but I'd start by asking my sighted partner to tell me if 
she was feeling imposed upon.  Of course, independence (or the lack of it) 
can also become a bone of contention between two blind partners, but in a 
different way.  I guess the bottom line is that relationships succeed or 
fail based on the ability to work through the issues.

Steve

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Steve" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, June 01, 2013 10:45
Subject: Re: sighted wife


>I have been married to a sighted person as well as a blind person.  For
> whatever its worth, my blind wife and I had some issues so we split up, 
> but
> have since re-married.
>
> I think there is a bit of a "blind culture" a that many of us share.  It
> doesn't mean that you will necessarily have a better marriage, but you 
> learn
> to deal with the challenges i.e. mainly transportation.  To some extent,
> with both of us blind, we choose to live in an area with good public 
> transit
> which maximizes our independence.  Through the use of assistive 
> technology,
> we rarely have to use others to help with stuff.  We have two sighted sons
> who at least right now, live nearby i.e. within fifteen miles.
>
> Being pretty independent for my adult life, my sighted wife used to 
> complain
> that she could do some things faster than I could.  I think that ended up
> being an issue, because I didn't want to become dependent even though, for
> example, she could cut my hour ride to work using the bus to less than
> twenty minutes.
>
> Steve, K8SP
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Steve Dresser" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Thursday, May 30, 2013 4:13 PM
> Subject: Re: sighted wife
>
>
>> Sylvia,
>>
>> I am totally blind, and have been married to my second wife (also totally
>> blind) for almost sixteen years.  My first wife was also totally blind,
>> and
>> although our marriage ultimately ended, our blindness wasn't the issue.
>>
>> I used to think that two blind people marrying each other was the best
>> choice, but now I think it's more important to base the relationship on
>> shared values and beliefs.  Others on this list have mentioned the power
>> dynamics between blind and sighted partners, and I have to agree that 
>> this
>> can certainly become a problem if not properly addressed.  I also think
>> that
>> any other issue you can name can also destroy a marriage if the partners
>> can't find a way to work it through.  My present wife and I have often
>> commented on how much easier things would be if one of us could see.
>