How to Stay Strong in Disappointment

Cindi McMenamin

Wouldn't it be nice if life consisted only of 
pleasant surprises, not the disappointing ones?

And yet when we meet disappointment head-on, it 
is a true test of the strength of our faith.

I recently received news that was gravely 
disappointing. I wasn't prepared for it in the 
least. It was shocking, really. God had been on a 
roll with blessings in my life. I guess I'd 
gotten a little comfortable. And this 
disappointing news couldn't have come at a worse 
time...a week before Christmas, just days after 
celebrating my daughter's college graduation, and 
just a week prior to my husband's transition into 
a new season of life that carried with it a lot of financial uncertainty.

My family was daily looking for the little 
assurances that God had our back and we were 
constantly praising him for all the times he came 
through. And now, it looked like the door to my 
golden opportunity and financial stability had 
slammed shut. My first reaction, spoken nearly 
aloud, was "God, this is so out of character for You."

And then I suddenly realized something: God 
doesn't do anything out of character.

• If God's response to my request appeared out of 
character for him, then it was is my 
understanding of the situation that was in question, not his character.
• If God's timing appears to be wrong, then it is 
my perception of his timing that I will doubt, 
not his ability to coordinate all things.
• If God's love appears to be in question - 
because of how he has responded to my situation - 
then it is my trust that is in question, not God's love.

It was then that I understood. It wasn't God's 
character that was being put to the test in my 
disappointing circumstances. It was mine. Would 
my faith stand an unexpected turn? Would I take 
only blessings from God and not the 
disappointments, too? Or will I trust him, 
wholeheartedly, that he knows exactly what he's 
doing and perhaps this closed door means an even 
better one will soon be opening?

It's been said that when God closes one door, he 
opens another. But when we can't immediately see 
that other door, we tend to panic. At least I do.

It has helped me to remember three things about disappointment:

1. Disappointment is a very real part of life.
2. Disappointment is something God can use to 
grow me into someone who is more like his Son.
3. Disappointment is the measuring stick for how strong my faith is.

I realized, through my reaction to this 
disappointment, that this comfortable woman - who 
was secure in her ability, her work, and her 
finances - was suddenly desperate for God. 
Desperate for him. And that's exactly where he wants me to be.

And, it occurred to me that I had actually prayed for this disappointment.

Just prior to receiving my disappointing news, I 
had been praying for change - in my personal 
life, my marriage, my professional life, and my 
spiritual life. And yet, more of the same never 
means change. In fact, growth always means 
change. God was giving me what I asked for - 
change! It just came in a package I called 
"disappointment" and in a way that I didn't expect.

I want my response to God in the disappointments 
of life to be just as pleasing to Him as my 
praise during the blessings of life. Can God 
trust me to be faithful to him regardless of my 
circumstances, regardless of when he chooses to 
bless and when he chooses to withhold?

Job once said "Though he slay me, yet will I trust him" (
Job 13:15,
NKJV). I haven't been "slayed" - not in the 
least. I've just been disappointed. So I long for 
the song of my heart to be, "Though I don't 
understand why he allowed this, still I will trust him."

Have you been gravely disappointed in your 
circumstances, too? Are you wondering why God has 
allowed - or not allowed - something in your 
life? It's possible he wants you to be desperate 
for him, too. When we can say our hope is in him, 
not in what he will do, then we get a little 
clearer picture of what it means to follow him faithfully.

Trust him through this time of disappointment or 
uncertainty. Wait for the door that he may soon 
be opening now that this one has been shut. And 
quiet your heart, along with me, so that we can say, as the Psalmist did:

"I have calmed myself and quieted my ambitions.
I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content"
(Psalm 131:2).

Disappointment or not, I want my faith to be 
strong and my heart to be pleasing to him. Don't you?


Thanks much.

Many Blessings,

Pat Ferguson
"I can Do all Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me." Phillippians 4:13.