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Date: | Thu, 31 Jul 2014 13:33:47 -0400 |
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These are very fine. Keep sending them to us.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Pat Ferguson" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Thursday, July 31, 2014 12:10 PM
Subject: Bible Humor Questions and Answers
> Bible humor? really!
>
> Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah. He was
> floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
>
> Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh's
> daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little
> prophet.
>
> Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? A. Ruth-less.
>
> Q. Who was the first drug addict in the Bible? A. Nebuchadnezzar. He
> was on grass for seven years.
>
> Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam
> and Eve out of the Garden in Fury. A. David's Triumph was heard
> throughout the land. A. Honda...bbc the apostles were all in one Accord.
> A. 2 Cor. 4-8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: "We
> are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."
>
> Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A. Samson. He brought
> the house down.
>
> Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A. In the big inning,
> Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel, and the
> Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
>
> Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? A.
> They were really put out.
>
> Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were
> kicked out? A. They really raised Cain.
>
> Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived
> in Eden? A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
>
> Q. The ark was built in 3 stories, and the top story had a window to let
> the light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories? A. They
> used floodlights.
>
> Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He
> rocked Goliath to sleep.
>
> Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? A.
> The thought had never entered his head before.
>
> Q. What do they call pastors in Germany? A. German Shepherds.
>
> Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise? A. Turn right and go
> straight.
>
> Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the
> Bible? A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments at once.
>
> Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A. The area around
> the Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
>
> Q. How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor? A. Because in Job
> 16:12 we read, "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up
> and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me."
>
> Q. Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? A. When
> Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
>
> Q. What is the first recorded case of constipation in the Bible? A. It's
> in Kings, where it says that David sat on the Throne for forty years.
>
> Q. Which Bible character had no parents? A. Joshua, son of Nun.
>
> Q. Why didn't Noah go fishing? A. He only had two worms!
>
> Q. How do we know that they played cards in the ark? A. Because Noah sat
> on the deck.
>
>
> Thanks much.
>
> Many Blessings,
>
> Pat Ferguson
> "I can Do all Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me." Phillippians
> 4:13.
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