I love it!
Kevin :)
Amateur Radio: K7RX
-----Original Message-----
From: For blind ham radio operators [mailto:[log in to unmask]]
On Behalf Of John J. Jacques
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2009 08:29
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Fw: New Discovery
Hi all, I just got this from a friend and thought you all could use a
chuckle! GRIN!
73 and 88 whare appropriate:
John
John Jacques
Amateur Radio Station: KG7FA
"Where Cat Is, Is Civilization!"
--------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Marilyn Dorn <[log in to unmask]>
To: (Recipient list suppressed)
Date: Sat, 10 Jan 2009 22:22:46 -0800
Subject: New Discovery
Message-ID: <[log in to unmask]>
>New Method Discovered
>
>Someone once described a violin as a contrivance by which the tail of a
>horse can be made to extract music from the entrails of a cat. The
>process was painless for the horse but required considerable sacrifice
>on the part of the cat. That was long ago and modern steel has replaced
>catgut as the material of choice for violin strings, thus limiting the
>utility of the modern cat. However, I recently discovered a phenomenon
>that could, in some measure, rehabilitate the specie to its rightful
>place in service to mankind.
>
>While tuning through the HF bands one evening in the ham shack, my cat
>jumped up on the bench for a visit. As I idly scanned the frequencies,
>I reached over to pet the cat, rubbing my hand down his back. I chanced
>to touch the cat's nose and drew a spark of static electricity. A sharp
>pop issued from the speaker of the receiver. This excited my curiosity
>and further experimentation confirmed my suspicions. On a lark, I tried
>using the cat to call CQ and to my amazement, received a reply! True,
>the other station was right in my same neighborhood, but a contact
>nonetheless. I found, however, that the arrangement was very broad
>banded and my signal was splattering out of the band for which I was
>licensed. Further experimentation was conducted and my refinements and
>observations are recorded here.
>
>A tunable bandpass filter was capacitively coupled to the cat for
>frequency selection. Back issues of QST featured a QRP rig constructed
>in a tuna can. I used the article as a starting point for the power
>supply for my rig. The idea being to charge the cat with the contents
>of a can from which the top has been freshly removed. Research and
>experimentation has shown that a fully charged cat exhibits greater
>stability during transmission. Placing the cat on a square of copper
>screen connected to an earth ground helps the cat to maintain proper
>location and enhances the signal level. Sort of a grounded grid
>amplifier. Rubbing the cat's fur with one's hand rather than some
>mechanical contrivance improves stability and soothes the cat. I call
>this method Armstrong Excitation.
>
>Keying is accomplished by either of two methods: Straight key from the
>cat's nose, as initially discovered above, and Iambic keying by
>alternately contacting the cat's ears with the thumb and index finger.
>As right handedness (or, to a lesser degree, left-handedness) is
>present to some extent in all species, the cat's ear-flick reflex will
>be uneven, the right ear generally somewhat faster and thus generating
>a dit while the left produces the dah. The cat seems to prefer short
>QSO's and the heavy use of Q-signals. Longer QSO's would probably
>require a battery of cats employed in relays.
>
>Armstrong Excitation, as described above, necessitated the use of the
>Farnsworth method of transmission. (a high character speed with fairly
>long intervals between characters) This also enhanced stability on the
>part of the cat. Performance seemed to top out at about 4 WPM, the
>limiting factors being the Armstrong Excitation and the tolerance of
>the cat.
>
>The cat seemed to suffer no permanent physical injury, but the animal
>has come to expect charging from the tuna can power supply any time CW
>tones are heard. This expectation has caused a severe case of Pavlovian
>drooling and has resulted in some water damage to some of the pages in
>my logbook.
>
>
>I wrote this as an April Fools piece for the club newsletter back when
>I was active in amateur radio. Now I just follow the local weather nets
>when the need arises, but spend most of my time in the shop machining
>and writing.
>
>Wes
>KB8UKS
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