You Might be Addicted to Ham Radio if:

1. When you look at a full moon and wonder how much antenna gain you would
need.
2. When a friend gets a ride from you and remarks that you have a lot of CBs
in your vehicle, it turns in to an hour
long rant on how ham radio is not CB radio.
3. When someone asks for directions, you pause, wondering if long or short
path would be best.
4. When you can look at a globe and be able to point to your antipode (and 
you
know what an antipode is).
5. Your cell phone ring tone is a Morse code message of some kind.
6. You have accidentally said your Amateur Radio call sign at the end of a
telephone conversation.
7. Your favorite vacation spots are always on mountain tops.
8. You notice more antennas than road signs while driving your car.
9. You have driven onto the shoulder of the road while looking at an 
antenna.
10. Porcupines appear to be fascinated with your car.
11. If you ever tried to figure out the operating frequency of your 
microwave
oven.
12. When you look around your bedroom of wall to wall ham gear and ask: Why 
am
I still single?
13. The local city council doesn't like you.
14. You think towers look pretty.
15. Your family doesn't have a clue what to get you for Christmas, even 
after
you tell them.
16. Your HF amplifier puts out more power than the local AM radio station.
17. The wife and kids are away and the first thing that goes through your 
head
is that no one will bother you while
you call "CQ DX" a few hundred times.
18. When you pull into a donut shop and the cops there on their coffee break
ask if they can see your radio setup.
19. You refer to your children as your "Harmonics".
20. Your girlfriend or wife asks: "You're going to spend $XXXX on what???
21. You actually believe you got a good deal on eBay.
22. When you see a house with a metal roof, and your only thought is what a
great ground plane that would be.
23. You have pictures of your radio equipment as wallpaper on your 
computer's
desktop.
24. Every family vacation includes a stop at a Ham radio store.
25. The first question you ask the new car dealer is: "What is the
alternator's current output"?
26. You buy a brand new car based on the radio mounting locations and 
antenna
mounting possibilities.
27. You have tapped out Morse code on your car's horn.
28. A lightning storm takes out a new Laptop, Plasma TV, and DVD Recorder, 
but
all you care about is if your radios
are okay.
29. Your wife has had to ride in the back seat because you had radio 
equipment
in the front seat.
30. Your wife was excited when you were talking about achieving that 
critical
angle, but very disappointed when you
finally did.
31. During a love making session with your wife, you stop to answer a call 
on
the radio.
32. Your wife threatens you with divorce when you tell her that you are 
going
on a "fox" hunt.
33. Talking about male and female connectors makes you feel excited.
34. You dream of big, comfortable, knobs, but not on women.
35. You always park on the top floor of the deck, just in case you might 
have
to wait in the car later.
36. When house hunting, you look for the best room for a radio shack and 
scan
the property for possible tower
placement.
37. When house hunting, you give your realtor topographical maps showing 
local
elevations.
38. The real estate agent scratches his head when you ask if the soil
conductivity is high, medium, or low.
39. You have Ham radio magazines in the bathroom.
40. When your doorbell rings, you immediately shut down the amplifier.
41. Fermentation never enters your mind when "homebrew" is mentioned.
42. Instead of just saying no, you have said "negative".
43. You have used a person's name to indicate acknowledgement.
44. You become impatient waiting for the latest AES catalog to arrive.
45. You have found yourself whistling "CQ" using Morse code.
46. You always schedule the third weekend in May for vacation.
47. You walk carefully in your back yard to avoid being close-lined.
48. You have deep anxiety or panic attacks during high winds or heavy ice.
49. You and the FedEx/UPS men are on a first name basis.
50. You really start to miss people that you've never seen.
51. Your exercise machine is a Morse code keyer.
52. You walk through the plumbing section at the hardware store and see
antenna parts.
53. Your neighbors thought you were nuts when you ripped up your lawn to 
bury
chicken wire.
54. Your next door neighbor thinks that your wife is a widow.
55. Your wife has delivered meals to your Ham shack.
56. If you sold all your Ham radio equipment, you could pay off your 
mortgage.
Reprint permission is granted for non-commercial use. © 2007 - Charles
Winkler