Hi, if you have already read this or are not interested, just deleat.  I
took all of these notes though and I hate to just keep them to myself.
Believe it or not this is just notes on one side of one tape, in a set of
probably 5 or 6.  A lot of information here.
I coppied it pretty much word for word so you who know the bible better can
tell me if the scriptures are quoted correctly.
This is from a set of tapes put out by my favorite marage counciler Jimmy
Evans and this set is on marage and intimacy and sex I believe.
The scripture is evidently the apossal Paul talking.
Beginning of notes

a perfect plan andGod's only plan for marage comes from epheshians chapter 5
Wives submit to your own husbands as to the lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife as christ also is head of the church
and he is the savior of the body.  Therefore just as the church is subject
to christ so let the wives be to their husbands in everything.
Husbands love your wives just as christ also loved the church and gave
himself for her that he might sanktify and clense her with the washing of
water by the word.  That he might present her to himself a glorious church
not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holey
and without blemish.  So husbands aught to love their own wives as their own
body, as he who loves his wife loves himself.  For noone ever hated his own
flesh but nurrishes and charishes it just as the lord does the church.
For we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones.  For this
reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife
and the two shall become one flesh.  This is a great mistery but I speak
concerning christ and the church.  Never the less let each of you
inperticulars so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she
respects her husband.
Note, noone likes this scripture when they first hear it.
They think what it says about their spouse is great but they pause over what
it says about them.
Secondly we fear being the first one to follow it and it becomes a standoff
with your spouse.  Well, if he/she would do her part, then I would do mine
but they've got to go first.
I would submit to my husband as the lord if he didn't act like the devil and
if I do it will only encourage him.
I would lay down my life for my wife but I would end up scrubbing dishes for
the rest of my life.
Although it is a very threatening scripture understand it is god's only plan
for marage.
number 1 reason why this is a perfect plan for marage?
The roles therein disable our sin nature and keep it from destroying our
marage.
Your sin nature can not successfully be married to any person because it is
selfish, it is short tempered, it is jellous, it is invious, it is dominant,
it is moody and it is unpredictable.  Yes, this is talking about you.
Just look to galatians 5 which talks about the deeds of the flesh and the
fruit of the spirit.
One of the deeds of the flesh is devision which is the inability to get
along with others.  Divorce.
When you read Epheshians chapter 5 and there is a part of you that jumps out
at it?
That's your sin nature responding to that.
Understand this.
Our roles in marage are different because we have different sin natures.
Every woman is a daughter of eav and your sin nature is her sin nature.
This is a prideful independance.  Women's sin nature makes them believe that
they don't need anyone else, god or their husbands to gather all of the
truth.
Adam's sin nature was passive insensitivity.  In other words, the Huh.
spirit.  Example, you say to your husband, Honey? and he answers huh?
And you explain it 4 times and he says Huh?
Passive, detached, dumb insinsativity.
If you can not follow this scripture, then your sin nature is controling
your life and it will ruin any marage you try to have.
For the man following this scripture means that you are saying to your wife,
You will never have to ask me twice to meet your needs.
When it tells women to submit to their husbands it is not saying that women
are beneath men, because in the vurse above this one it says that we should
both submit to each other in the fear of christ.  We are still equal, men
just need to feel honor from their wives.  And if women honor their husbands
it disarms that part of their sin nature which says they don't need him or
god to figure it all out.  The roles given in this scripture close the door
on the
devil and allow god to use us to love our spouse.
The second thing about these roles in marage is that they make us atractive
to our spouse and cause our spouse to open their heart to us.
You can not be intimate until you are relating on a heart to heart level.
If sex were intimacy then America would be the most intimment nation on
earth.
We are not, there are many people in America having sex and their is no
fulfillment in it what so ever because they are driven by sexual
compulsions.
You have to be heart to heart.
Problem, I'm not going to open my heart to you if I don't trust you.
A man will not open his heart to a dishonoring woman and a woman will not
open her heart to an insinsative man who does not care for her or especially
a man who abuses her.
The number 1 need of a man is honor.  Men are as sinsitive in the area of
their eago as women are physically.
In first peater 3 it says that a gental and quiet spirit is very precious in
the sight of god.
When a woman is gental and quiet, the opposit of loud and agressive it is
precious  in the sight of the lord.  Loud and agressive means you are going
to do it your way, you're going to be the enforcer in the home.  You feel
you have the capability to dominate and control within the home.
That is not attractive to God.
God is attracted to a submitted spirit.
No man is attracted to a dishonoring woman.