Phil, That really hit home with me, as I had a similar situation with
my step father, when I was in my teens. I was living at home, at the
time, but when I left home, and I'm so glad I got to the point where
I said "no" to him, but he never gave up.
I always hated it when he would come over to my apartment when I
lived by myself, and this was when I was in my twenties. He would
want something and well, he thought he could take me out to lunch,
and I would give in to him. That did not happen.
He did ask for forgiveness many years later. I forgave him for those
things he did to me.
Blessings,
Pat Ferguson
At 05:09 PM 1/4/2008, you wrote:
>Blinded By A Doublebind
>
>
>By Phil Scovell
>
>
>
> She had been just a little girl when her father began
>molesting her. Later, as a teenager, she would learn from her
>mother that early in their marriage, sexual intercourse had ceased
>to exist because she, the mother, no longer wanted that type of
>intimacy from her husband. The little girl, therefore, became
>his unholy sexual outlet. No, there are no excuses here. Sin is
>sin and evil is evil and crime is crime and this is all of that.
>Today, such a molester would go to prison and the mother would go
>free in spite of her sin but both will be judged as accountable
>before the Judgment Seat of Christ some day regardless of
>societal lack.
>
> We were praying. The vivid memory of a teenager came to mind
>and she began to cry. We prayed some more. "I'm ashamed," she
>admitted through her tears.
>
> "I understand," I said quietly. "It's ok."
>
> She confessed the memory was of her mid teens. She entered
>her father's bedroom as he stood in front of a dresser and
>prepared to go out. A mirror on the back of the dresser reflected
>their image. "I'm so ashamed of what I did, Phil. I don't think
>I can tell you." She was crying nearly uncontrollably now.
>
> "You don't have to go there if you can't. Just listen." I
>prayed more and asked for the Lord to show her the way.
>
> "Oh, I am so ashamed," she repeated. "I was trying to show
>off. I was trying to get my dad to notice me."
>
> "Notice you how?" I encouraged; knowing the answer already
>but also knowing this was where the Lord had led her.
>
> "I wanted him to notice me sexually," and now her words,
>through her crying, were almost unintelligible. "It was all so
>wrong," she cried.
>
> I said softly, "You knew it was wrong when you were little,
>too?"
>
> "Yes," she wept and whimpered almost as a little girl.
>
> "He even tried again years later when you were 13 but you ran
>from him. Right?" I asked.
>
> "Yes, I did run away from him. It was wrong and I knew it.
>Then why did I try and show off this time to him? I knew better."
>
> "That's a good question," I said. "Lord Jesus, what is the
>answer to her question? Why did she try and show off sexually to
>get her father to notice her in her mid teens?"
>
> As she cried quietly, she finally said, as the spiritual
>awareness bloomed in her spirit, "I was deceived."
>
> "yes," I responded, "you were. Furthermore, you were trapped
>in a doublebind."
>
> She asked what that might be.
>
> "It is when the Enemy deceives us into believing a lie with
>no way out, that is, we are trapped at either end."
>
> "Then," she said, "how was I trapped in this situation as an
>older teenager and my dad? I knew by this time it was wrong and
>even sinful."
>
> "Of course you did. When you were 4 and 5 years old," I
>explained, your little mind wasn't mature enough to fully
>understand all that was happening to you. Besides, it was your
>dad. Your dad loved you so how could what he was doing be wrong?
>That's what you thought anyway. Yes, even this concept alone
>conceived confusion in the little girl's mind. Then, when the
>little girl grew older, her power of reasoning matured and she
>knew it was wrong and she ran away."
>
> "But I still don't understand," she interrupted, "why I
>tried to get him to notice me sexually as an older teenager? It
>was hideously wrong."
>
> "What was the one word answer the Lord told you when I asked
>Him to reveal the truth of that question to you?"
>
> "He said I was deceived."
>
> "Right," I agreed. "The Enemy deceived you into thinking,
>because of what happened repeatedly as a little girl who didn't
>understand, it was now ok as a big girl because, after all, your
>father loved you, and you loved your father. It was a lie of the
>Enemy as a little girl and it was still a lie as a big girl."
>
> "I see it now," she almost whispered. The devil lied to me
>from the beginning.
>
> The man said, "But why did I do it?"
>
> He was referring to a teenage incident where he molested his
>younger sister. There had been no penetration, no skin-to-skin
>contact, and no removal of clothing but regardless, it was sin and
>he knew it. The man had lived his entire life with the guilt and
>trapped by it's heaviness for decades.
>
> "I was a Christian at the time, too. I knew better. I knew
>it was wrong. I knew it was sin but I still did it. Why?" he
>pleaded. Although the man was free of the sin, unless he found
>the way of escape God had prepared for him, the guilt would return
>and he knew it.
>
> "Lord, why did he do it?" we prayed together.
>
> The man suddenly sat very still as if something had just
>entered the quietness of the room and he were listening. Then he
>sat up. "I heard it. I know the answer," he announced
>confidently. "This is it."
>
> "What was that," he was asked.
>
> "I did it because I was deceived."
>
> "You are right," the intercessor answered.
>
> "I'm free! I'm totally free," the man proclaimed with
>finality. "It's gone for ever," and so it was. The man now saw
>God's truth and knew it wasn't what he really wanted to do; it was
>what he had been deceived into doing. That is, he was deceived
>into committing sin which only a loving God could forgive who had
>vicariously died in his place.
>
> A woman was enjoying the afternoon. The weather was
>beautiful and she had enjoyed her walk.
>
> "It's a beautiful tree, isn't it?" came the smooth pleasant
>silky voice from the exquisitely beautiful shining creature.
>
> She stopped and looked. "Yes, as a matter of fact, it is
>quite beautiful. Everything God makes is beautiful," she
>commented as she had so many hundreds of times over the years.
>
> "Have you noticed the fruit?" the voice asked. "It, too, is
>quite beautiful. It must be delicious."
>
> The woman said nothing but watched.
>
> "Why not try some of the fruit? After all, you deserve it."
>
> "Oh, no," she replied. "We are forbidden. In fact, if we
>eat the fruit of this tree, we will die. We aren't even suppose
>to touch it."
>
> "Oh, come on," the voice chuckled. "Die? that's a laugh.
>You are eternal. You can't die. Besides, if you eat this fruit,
>you'll be like me; like a god. You'll know everything; good and
>evil. I know good from evil and I am eternal as are you."
>
> The woman stepped closer. The fruit was lovely in
>appearance. It certainly would be good tasting as beautiful as it
>looked. Somehow, it even appeared that to eat of such fruit would
>increase her wisdom, too, so she gingerly pulled the fruit from a
>branch and bit into its richness.
>
> I'm certain this story is familiar, if you've read the Bible,
>because this was what happened to Eve and eventually to her
>husband, Adam. Do you see the doublebind Satan used on Eve just
>as He has on others? If she didn't eat the fruit, she wouldn't be
>as a god. If she did, on the other hand, she would be as God;
>wise and eternal and all knowing. Who wouldn't want that? Eve
>was trapped by the words of the Evil One for such was his plan.
>Deceived by the master Deceiver.
>
> Are you trapped as well? Has he also used a doublebind on
>you as he has on so many others throughout time? There is a way
>of escape. It is the Word of God expressed in His voice. If you
>cannot clearly hear His voice, you, too, will be locked in
>deceitfulness for ever and carry the guilt of your own sin.
>Jesus died to make His voice clear and to lift the guilt away.
>
>
>It Sounds Like God To Me.
>www.SafePlaceFellowship.com
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