Hi Sharon,
Sometimes, a major stresser in life can bring some of these behaviors
to the foreground. I have a little sense of what you are talking
about. Both my bipolar, and my Asperger's worsen under stress. What
with our friend Mary and her situation, I an more obssessive about
cleanliness, counting, order, even Vs. odd numbers, childhood fears
re-surfacing, including a fear of eggs, and tactile and auditory halusinations.
Talk soon,
purple
At 05:25 PM 4/3/2008, you wrote:
>Mari and all,
>
>You asked about my emotional struggles. I'll try to be basic. It
>has to do with obsessive-compulsive thoughts/urges/yielding to many
>of those urges, that caused emotional trauma that I've experienced
>that caused me to feel that I want nothing to do with God, that for
>me to be a Christian is nonexistent, somewhat like trying to wear a
>shoe that doesn't fit, or like He's a foreign tissue to be rejected
>by my body, and that the only way I can win this battle is to endure
>the pain of not yielding to certain urges. I cope with this anxiety
>and depression by yielding to those urges, and I'm not willing to go
>through that, even for a moment. I've also developed a way of
>thinking that says, "I cannot truly enjoy the good things that come
>my way, because I might not have it if I've done all the right
>things." Put these two concepts together, and add the frightening
>experiences I've had with Christians who probably just don't
>understand what my real problem is, and what the real solution is,
>saying things like, "You need to hand it over to God, or you will
>perish. You need to decide, like a drug addict, whether you will
>serve The Lord, or go for the quick fix that will ultimately kill
>you." Of course Jesus is the solution, and we must ultimately
>choose whether or not to serve Him, but we may not always experience
>His Healing Touch, or approach Him in exactly the same way as what
>others dictate.
>
>Put all these things together, and you might get the idea. I have
>to go to dinner now.
>
>Chat Later!
>
>Sharon
>
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