Jenn,
Perhaps you could tell us where you found it, or put it on one of the
upload/download sites such as sendspace for all to collect. I've jused
various to collect files but rarely need to send any.
I'm certainly interested in a read, though it may not be allowed outside the
States.
--
Carol
[log in to unmask]
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jenifer Gilley" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, March 05, 2008 12:27 PM
Subject: Re: my story.
> kathy i found that book. halfway through the dramatic version. verry
> good!
> if anyone wants it i've got it on my puter, let me know how i can get it
> to
> you.s
>
> Jenifer Gilley
> Christ came that we may have life everlasting!
> Email:
> [log in to unmask]
> msn-no email please:
> [log in to unmask]
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: The Electronic Church [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On
> Behalf Of Kathy Du Bois
> Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 9:38 AM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: my story.
>
>
> Gen,
> This was very powerful. Thank you so much for
> sharing. You might want to see if you can track
> down Focus On the Family's dramatized version
> of Frank Pereti's book "Tilly." I'll warn you
> now that you will cry, but you may also find
> healing. That is what the book was intended to do.
> God bless,
> Kathy
>
>
>
>
>
>
> At 04:43 AM 3/4/2008, you wrote:
>>hi all.
>>It took me almost nine years, but i was finally able to write this down.
>>It wasn't easy and i pray that others would benifit. ***warning*** long!
>>The Truth Behind the Walls
>>
>> Most people don't know what really goes
>> on behind the walls of an abortion
>>clinic. unfortunately I do. I had an abortion on March 18, 1999. Some
>>would criticize me, and call me heartless and say I was going to hell. I
>>would call myself stupid, scared, but forgiven!
>>
>> It was a dreary kind of cold Thursday
>> morning as I rode to the clinic with
>>my parents. The father of my child didn't go with us. he chose to stay
>>behind and deny what was going on. I was about ten weeks pregnant and my
>>life was spinning out of control. I had just found out I was pregnant
> about
>>a month before, and during that month it seemed like my life was no longer
>>my own. I let my parents tell me that I had no other choice but to abort
> my
>>little girl. I figured that the father wasn't helping me with the
>>decision
>>so what choice did I have?
>>
>> As we rode the forty-five minutes to
>> the clinic I laid on the back seat
>>with my seeing eye dog Claudia next to me on the floor. I had so many
>>thoughts going through my mind, yet I had nothing going through it at the
>>same time. I was scared and at that point I didn't care if the procedure
>>killed me. That's what they called it. the abortion was a procedure, the
>>fetus was a pregnancy, and the mother. well she wasn't considered a
>>mother.
>>I had to sign a lot of things and listen to some stuff the day before
>>about
>>the *risks* of the *procedure*. They included but are not limited to:
>>breast cancer, tremendous blood loss that could lead to a transfusion,
> liver
>>damage, and possibly death. Who wouldn't be scared?
>>
>> I knew that the tiny twitch going on
>> inside of me was a person, but I was
>>too scared to stick up for her! The crazy thing? I had written a story
> for
>>an assignment of my senior year of high school that included a girl not
>>going through with her abortion. Laying there I thought "could I be that
>>girl? Would I have the nerve?" My parents were talking to each other.
>>not
>>about what was about to happen. They left me to my own thoughts
> thankfully.
>>
>>As we pulled up to the clinic door, my mom said to me, "You know. if I
>>were
>>in your shoes, I would be doing the same thing." I seriously wanted to
> spit
>>at her.
>>
>>As I numbly got out of the car with Claudia, it was like I was a zombie.
> It
>>wasn't me who was doing this. It wasn't me who was about to go kill a
>>child. It couldn't be.
>>
>>The first few hours were just waiting. Then it happened all at once. The
>>doctor-if you could call it that, was late because. get this!-he was
>>delivering a baby! Crazy huh? So, they found me a new doctor. I still
>>remember her name-dr. lumly.
>>
>>First was the sonogram. I remember asking what my baby looked like, and
>>they said the fetus looked normal, my mom didn't say a word. Then was the
>>scale where they weighed me. I remember my weight.
>>
>>Then they took me to this room. Claudia stayed with my mom and dad. This
>>lady came in to get the anesthetic ready and I asked her a question. I
>>asked her first if I could ask the question to which she said it was ok.
>>Then the question: "has anyone just got up and walked out." The monster
>>didn't answer me! I swear this, if I could've seen I would've ran out of
>>there and found a way for me and my daughter to make it. But I was so
>>horrified and alone. it was horrible.
>>
>>Then the doctor. murderer. whatever you want to call her came in. she
>>told
>>me to lie back, and they stuck the needle in my arm. From the minute the
>>needle was in I started to cry. During the whole thing, I just felt like
>>I
>>was being held. I was not alone in that room. I hadn't came back to God
> at
>>that point, but I feel that He knew my heart and He was with me.
>>
>>When it was over I found myself in this room. it sounded like a big class
>>room wide open etc. I was still crying when I woke up. My parents said
>>that when they were told how I was doing, they had to physically pick
>>Claudia up so she wouldn't bolt.
>>
>>I don't remember leaving the place. I remembering making my parents pull
>>over several times because the anesthetic they gave me made me throw up
>>several times.
>>
>>When we got home, I couldn't believe where I was. Everything was normal.
>>My brothers didn't have a clue. I remember feeling so horrible because my
>>brother Eric, who didn't have a clue. a few weeks earlier we had been
>>playing around and he hit me really hard in the stomach. I thought to
>>myself, "maybe he'll kill my baby so I don't have to."
>>
>>The months after my abortion I think I was suicidal. Well not really
>>because I don't think when it came down to it I would've done anything
>>really. Then I found the Left Behind Series. I was addicted. Growing
>>up,
>>I never knew the God that they talked about. Sure, I'd been baptized, but
> I
>>don't think I ever knew God.
>>
>>I was baptized and re-dedicated on 10/01/02. And for almost 3 years I was
>>in love with God. I still struggled, I was still in pain. My
>>boyfriend-Skyla's (my daughter's) father broke up with me and found
>>someone
>>else. But God was with me through it all.
>>
>>Then, my father was killed in a motor cycle accident. I still deal with
>>issues of anger towards someone who doesn't even know I'm angry with him
>>because I didn't go see my father the weekend before he died. But I know
>>that I'll see my daddy again. I'm limping back to God because I know He
>>is
>>the only one who cares, that you can cling to, that you can lean on! I
> know
>>my daddy knows I forgave him, even though I never came out and told him.
>>I
>>know he's up there right now holding my little girl. My daddy and Skyla
>>Ilene will be the first people I will see. I know that my little girl has
>>forgiven me. I don't know if the father has ever dealt with it, and all I
>>can do is pray for him. He is not my responsibility any longer.
>>
>>I write this now because in two weeks, will be the 9th anniversary of my
>>abortion. I've never let Skyla go, and I've learned that I don't have to.
>>She'll always have a piece of my heart. But now that Jeremy and I are
>>trying to start a family, I have to acknowledge that fact that I don't
>>have
>>to let her go. I can keep her and know she is in the best care possible.
>>She's my first-born, my little angel, and with her papa.
>>
>>Skyla Ilene barr (name given by god)
>>Due date-(confirmed by god) September 25, 1999
>>
>>Whispers From Heaven
>>Mother, dear, dear Mother,
>>could we talk, you and I?
>>When I look down from Heaven,
>>sometimes I see you cry.
>>I want so much to hug you then
>>as tight as tight can be,
>>Because I think the tears you shed
>>are sad, sad tears for me.
>>Dear Mother, I forgive you,
>>O please believe I do!
>>It must have been so difficult,
>>so very hard for you.
>>They told you things would be all right,
>>your life would just go on,
>>But never said how much you'd weep
>>and grieve when I'd be gone.
>>Yet we can still be very close
>>and love each other, too,
>>For though I'm now with God,
>>I'LL ALWAYS BE A PART OF YOU.
>>So Mother, won't you NAME me, please
>>and from my Home above
>>I'll hear you and I'll come each time
>>you call to me with Love.
>>I'd like to be the faithful friend
>>in whom you can confide;
>>Your sentinel before God's Throne,
>>the Angel at your side.
>>So TALK to me and SING to me,
>>and PRAY with me, please do!
>>And when you send a smile to me,
>>I'll send one back to you!
>>So don't be sad, Mother,
>>you'll be fine, I know,
>>For I'll be there in Spirit
>>where're you may go.
>>And when God brings you home to me,
>>my heart will know true bliss,
>>As I run up to greet you
>>with a great big hug and kiss!
>>Love,
>>Skyla Ilene Barr-was due 09/25/1999
>>
>>***author unknown***
>>
>>
>>Jenifer Gilley
>>Christ came that we may have life everlasting!
>> Email:
>>[log in to unmask]
>>msn-no email please:
>>[log in to unmask]
>
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