Ugh, I had another panic attack. Satan scum bag thinks he can pull one on
me. I was in the kitchen, and I opened the freezer, to get some ice to put
in my tea, and I heard this noise. It sounded like John, the man who lives
with my aunt and me had either come home and was either teasing me, orit
sounded like an animal. It was like ninny ninny, or something like that, I
don't know. I immediately had the feeling that I'd been left behind, so I
rushed to my room, turned on the TV, to see if there were news on, but
praise God I didn't find any, because Satan was putting these oh no I've
been left behind thoughts in my head, so I expected to hear about global
vanishings, which we know is the rapture. Ugh, it just scared me. When I
couldn't find anything on the TV or radio, I ran back in here to try to call
a few people, but a friend of mine that I tried calling didn't answer, there
wasn't an answer at my Dad's house, and there wasn't an answer when I tried
to call one of my aunts, and then I tried my former fiance, and there was no
answer, so I went back into my room again, and turned on the radio, and
listened to a few minutes of preaching, and I thought of a friend of mine
that I've been communicating with for awhile, so that's when I ran back in
here and called her. I was so relieved when she answered the phone. I don't
ever want to go through anything like this again. Do you know what really
upsets me? Why do I fear, when it comes to this? I'm saved. I feel so
ashamed when I cave into fear like this, when we both know that if the
rapture had occurred, we'd be floating into the clouds to meet our Jesus.
Good grief, what's wrong with me? I'm such a child! I'm saved. I accepted
Jesus, He washed my sins away, and I was baptized, and I don't doubt my
salvation, so why all this panic?
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