Hi Sharon,

Sometimes, a major stresser in life can bring some of these behaviors 
to the foreground. I have a little sense of what you are talking 
about. Both my bipolar, and my Asperger's worsen under stress. What 
with our friend Mary and her situation, I an more obssessive about 
cleanliness, counting, order, even Vs. odd numbers, childhood fears 
re-surfacing, including a fear of eggs, and tactile and auditory halusinations.

Talk soon,

purple



At 05:25 PM 4/3/2008, you wrote:
>Mari and all,
>
>You asked about my emotional struggles.  I'll try to be basic.  It 
>has to do with obsessive-compulsive thoughts/urges/yielding to many 
>of those urges, that caused emotional trauma that I've experienced 
>that caused me to feel that I want nothing to do with God, that for 
>me to be a Christian is nonexistent, somewhat like trying to wear a 
>shoe that doesn't fit, or like He's a foreign tissue to be rejected 
>by my body, and that the only way I can win this battle is to endure 
>the pain of not yielding to certain urges.  I cope with this anxiety 
>and depression by yielding to those urges, and I'm not willing to go 
>through that, even for a moment.  I've also developed a way of 
>thinking that says, "I cannot truly enjoy the good things that come 
>my way, because I might not have it if I've done all the right 
>things."  Put these two concepts together, and add the frightening 
>experiences I've had with Christians who probably just don't 
>understand what my real problem is, and what the real solution is, 
>saying things like, "You need to hand it over to God, or you will 
>perish.  You need to decide, like a drug addict, whether you will 
>serve The Lord, or go for the quick fix that will ultimately kill 
>you."  Of course Jesus is the solution, and we must ultimately 
>choose whether or not to serve Him, but we may not always experience 
>His Healing Touch, or approach Him in exactly the same way as what 
>others dictate.
>
>Put all these things together, and you might get the idea.  I have 
>to go to dinner now.
>
>Chat Later!
>
>Sharon
>
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