Hello All,

First let me say I'm still on nomail but   was 
reading  and noticed something in a familiar 
passage. If you reply, being I'm reaching to the 
list from the depths of nomail *smile*, I'll not 
be able  to recieve it and no need to reply 
anyway... this is just  some food for outloud 
thought when I was reading this morning.

And when He had taken some bread and given 
thanks, He broke it and gave it to them, saying, 
"This is My body which is given for you; do this 
in remembrance of me." And in the same way He 
took the cup after they had eaten, saying, "This 
cup which is poured out for you is the new 
covenant in My blood."But behold, the hand of the 
one betraying Me is with Mine on the table. "For 
indeed, the Son of Man is going as it has been 
determined; but woe to that man by whom He is betrayed!"

If we've seen or heard that scripture once we 
heard it a thousand times. A familiar literary 
pilgrimage to the time of year we celebrate 
commonly known as Easter, a pagan holiday giving 
homage to the god of spring and light, which was 
adopted by Christians as the resurrection of 
Christ after his crucifixion. So many times we've 
read and listened to the words of breaking bread, 
drinking from the cup and Jesus instructing "do 
this in remembrance of me". So we read, and do 
just as it says, lick our lips, wipe our mouths 
and we move on to the next program item in the 
pamphlet. Remembering what Christ did indeed is 
important but also from reading how Jesus prayed 
three times profusely in the garden "if possible 
remove this cup from me but nonetheless let your 
will be done and not mine", we see the "man" part 
of Jesus and we see he is concerned over what he 
will endure and sensitive to all what lies ahead 
as well what he is currently enduring. We often 
identify the last supper with Christ taking on 
the world's issues at the cross, and yet I wonder 
how often we gloss over the feelings and 
sensitivity of Jesus in his time of announcement 
here? Even in the midst of one of his most shared 
times with his friends, his disciples, he is 
tossed off from the sin of selfishness. What do I 
mean? If we continue on to read from the scripture above we read…

"And they began to discuss among themselves which 
one of them it might be who was going to do this 
thing. And there arose also a dispute among them 
as to which one of them was regarded to be greatest.

So here is, for this point, a man who is about to 
endure the greatest sacrifice on Earth sharing 
his news with his friends over an exemplary meal 
and what happens? The men decide to discuss who 
is the one who will do this. And that then leads 
to them leaving  Jesus out of the conversation 
and out of mind as they then ensue in a 
conversation with each boasting about who is 
greatest among them. So the conversation has 
evolved to a selfish "I'm greatest" or "he's 
greatest" while their friend and mentor only a 
few feet from them is carrying the weight of the 
world on his shoulders. Did they not really 
believe him? Did they not understand? I can't 
imagine they didn't because of the conversation 
of who would be the one so wicked to do this 
betrayal. And yet they let Jesus off to him self 
and selfishly begin discussing who is greatest among themselves.

Can you imagine what Jesus must have felt sitting 
back from the table, bringing the news of his 
betrayal and death, only to find his friends have 
turned the topic of concern to themselves? 
Where's the compassion? The concern for Jesus? 
The interaction with Jesus? Certainly what Jesus 
was soon to endure was much worse, but what a 
feeling of loneliness he must have had as well 
with the selfish thoughts and concerns the disciples had at such a time.

Whether or not Jesus actually felt this way being 
the Son of Man but also the Son of God, it caused 
me to consider my own life, my own conversations. 
Often times we will listen to a friend or 
acquaintance tell us about their woes and worries 
and in an effort to let them feel they are not 
alone; we will identify a similar or applicable 
situation in our lives. To a point that is 
useful, although perhaps not always necessary. 
Those kinds of conversations twists are generated 
out of compassion for the other person, but have 
we brought such experiences of our own to light 
in the midst of a friend's expression of fear, 
trouble, or anguish and found that the 
conversation focus had turned to ourselves and 
their needs are left lying in the dirt? Was there 
a time when we left our friend feeling as though 
we only cared about ourselves, and in their 
search for a sounding board found themselves a 
loud speaker? It is cited that a good friend is a 
good listener, and we might keep the disciples in 
mind next time we are held in confidence by our 
friends unloading and seeking compassion and friendship.

Similarly, at time of communion when we as 
Christians are to  take of the elements sincerely 
and not  abstractly, as well come to the table 
having cleansed our minds and hearts, purged them 
before coming to the Lord before recognizing his 
sacrifice and remembering it, how much do we 
focus on ourselves? How many "I"s are in our 
thoughts and how many "You"s are there? So just 
as in the day of the last supper, it is good to 
not indulge in thoughts and conversations 
regarding ourselves in what we've done right or 
wrong, indeed come to the table clean, but shower 
before going to church, not at the altar of 
remembrance, and keep focus on Christ remembering 
what he did, not what we did or didn't do since 
the last time we broke bread and drank of the cup.