kathy i found that book.  halfway through the dramatic version.  verry good!
if anyone wants it i've got it on my puter, let me know how i can get it to
you.s

Jenifer Gilley
Christ came that we may have life everlasting!
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-----Original Message-----
From: The Electronic Church [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On
Behalf Of Kathy Du Bois
Sent: Tuesday, March 04, 2008 9:38 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: my story.


Gen,
This was very powerful.  Thank you so much for
sharing.  You might want to see if you can track
down Focus On the Family's dramatized   version
of Frank Pereti's book "Tilly."    I'll warn you
now that you will cry, but you may also find
healing.  That is what the book was intended to do.
God bless,
Kathy






At 04:43 AM 3/4/2008, you wrote:
>hi all.
>It took me almost nine years, but  i was finally able to write this down.
>It wasn't easy and i pray that others would benifit.  ***warning*** long!
>The Truth Behind the Walls
>
>         Most people don’t know what really goes
> on behind the walls of an abortion
>clinic… unfortunately I do.  I had an abortion on March 18, 1999.  Some
>would criticize me, and call me heartless and say I was going to hell.  I
>would call myself stupid, scared, but forgiven!
>
>         It was a dreary kind of cold Thursday
> morning as I rode to the clinic with
>my parents.  The father of my child didn’t go with us… he chose to stay
>behind and deny what was going on.  I was about ten weeks pregnant and my
>life was spinning out of control.  I had just found out I was pregnant
about
>a month before, and during that month it seemed like my life was no longer
>my own.  I let my parents tell me that I had no other choice but to abort
my
>little girl.  I figured that the father wasn’t helping me with the decision
>so what choice did I have?
>
>         As we rode the forty-five minutes to
> the clinic I laid on the back seat
>with my seeing eye dog Claudia next to me on the floor.  I had so many
>thoughts going through my mind, yet I had nothing going through it at the
>same time.  I was scared and at that point I didn’t care if the procedure
>killed me.  That’s what they called it… the abortion was a procedure, the
>fetus was a pregnancy, and the mother… well she wasn’t considered a mother.
>I had to sign a lot of things and listen to some stuff the day before about
>the *risks* of the *procedure*.  They included but are not limited to:
>breast cancer, tremendous blood loss that could lead to a transfusion,
liver
>damage, and possibly death.  Who wouldn’t be scared?
>
>         I knew that the tiny twitch going on
> inside of me was a person, but I was
>too scared to stick up for her!  The crazy thing?  I had written a story
for
>an assignment of my senior year of high school that included a girl not
>going through with her abortion.  Laying there I thought “could I be that
>girl?  Would I have the nerve?”  My parents were talking to each other… not
>about what was about to happen.  They left me to my own thoughts
thankfully.
>
>As we pulled up to the clinic door, my mom said to me, “You know… if I were
>in your shoes, I would be doing the same thing.”  I seriously wanted to
spit
>at her.
>
>As I numbly got out of the car with Claudia, it was like I was a zombie.
It
>wasn’t me who was doing this.  It wasn’t me who was about to go kill a
>child.  It couldn’t be.
>
>The first few hours were just waiting.  Then it happened all at once.  The
>doctor-if you could call it that, was late because… get this!-he was
>delivering a baby!  Crazy huh?  So, they found me a new doctor.  I still
>remember her name-dr. lumly.
>
>First was the sonogram.  I remember asking what my baby looked like, and
>they said the fetus looked normal, my mom didn’t say a word.  Then was the
>scale where they weighed me.  I remember my weight.
>
>Then they took me to this room.  Claudia stayed with my mom and dad.  This
>lady came in to get the anesthetic ready and I asked her a question.  I
>asked her first if I could ask the question to which she said it was ok.
>Then the question: “has anyone just got up and walked out.”  The monster
>didn’t answer me!  I swear this, if I could’ve seen I would’ve ran out of
>there and found a way for me and my daughter to make it.  But I was so
>horrified and alone… it was horrible.
>
>Then the doctor… murderer… whatever you want to call her came in.  she told
>me to lie back, and they stuck the needle in my arm.  From the minute the
>needle was in I started to cry.  During the whole thing, I just felt like I
>was being held.  I was not alone in that room.  I hadn’t came back to God
at
>that point, but I feel that He knew my heart and He was with me.
>
>When it was over I found myself in this room… it sounded like a big class
>room wide open etc.  I was still crying when I woke up.  My parents said
>that when they were told how I was doing, they had to physically pick
>Claudia up so she wouldn’t bolt.
>
>I don’t remember leaving the place.  I remembering making my parents pull
>over several times because the anesthetic they gave me made me throw up
>several times.
>
>When we got home, I couldn’t believe where I was.  Everything was normal.
>My brothers didn’t have a clue.  I remember feeling so horrible because my
>brother Eric, who didn’t have a clue… a few weeks earlier we had been
>playing around and he hit me really hard in the stomach.  I thought to
>myself, “maybe he’ll kill my baby so I don’t have to.”
>
>The months after my abortion I think I was suicidal.  Well not really
>because I don’t think when it came down to it I would’ve done anything
>really.  Then I found the Left Behind Series.  I was addicted.  Growing up,
>I never knew the God that they talked about.  Sure, I’d been baptized, but
I
>don’t think I ever knew God.
>
>I was baptized and re-dedicated on 10/01/02.  And for almost 3 years I was
>in love with God.  I still struggled, I was still in pain.  My
>boyfriend-Skyla’s (my daughter’s) father broke up with me and found someone
>else.  But God was with me through it all.
>
>Then, my father was killed in a motor cycle accident.  I still deal with
>issues of anger towards someone who doesn’t even know I’m angry with him
>because I didn’t go see my father the weekend before he died.  But I know
>that I’ll see my daddy again.  I’m limping back to God because I know He is
>the only one who cares, that you can cling to, that you can lean on!  I
know
>my daddy knows I forgave him, even though I never came out and told him.  I
>know he’s up there right now holding my little girl.  My daddy and Skyla
>Ilene will be the first people I will see.  I know that my little girl has
>forgiven me.  I don’t know if the father has ever dealt with it, and all I
>can do is pray for him.  He is not my responsibility any longer.
>
>I write this now because in two weeks, will be the 9th anniversary of my
>abortion.  I’ve never let Skyla go, and I’ve learned that I don’t have to.
>She’ll always have a piece of my heart.  But now that Jeremy and I are
>trying to start a family, I have to acknowledge that fact that I don’t have
>to let her go.  I can keep her and know she is in the best care possible.
>She’s my first-born, my little angel, and with her papa.
>
>Skyla Ilene barr (name given by god)
>Due date-(confirmed by god) September 25, 1999
>
>Whispers From Heaven
>Mother, dear, dear Mother,
>could we talk, you and I?
>When I look down from Heaven,
>sometimes I see you cry.
>I want so much to hug you then
>as tight as tight can be,
>Because I think the tears you shed
>are sad, sad tears for me.
>Dear Mother, I forgive you,
>O please believe I do!
>It must have been so difficult,
>so very hard for you.
>They told you things would be all right,
>your life would just go on,
>But never said how much you'd weep
>and grieve when I'd be gone.
>Yet we can still be very close
>and love each other, too,
>For though I'm now with God,
>I'LL ALWAYS BE A PART OF YOU.
>So Mother, won't you NAME me, please
>and from my Home above
>I'll hear you and I'll come each time
>you call to me with Love.
>I'd like to be the faithful friend
>in whom you can confide;
>Your sentinel before God's Throne,
>the Angel at your side.
>So TALK to me and SING to me,
>and PRAY with me, please do!
>And when you send a smile to me,
>I'll send one back to you!
>So don't be sad, Mother,
>you'll be fine, I know,
>For I'll be there in Spirit
>where're you may go.
>And when God brings you home to me,
>my heart will know true bliss,
>As I run up to greet you
>with a great big hug and kiss!
>Love,
>Skyla Ilene Barr-was due 09/25/1999
>
>***author unknown***
>
>
>Jenifer Gilley
>Christ came that we may have life everlasting!
>  Email:
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>msn-no email please:
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