loved these! lol!
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http://www.zazzle.com/TamarMag*
Tamar Mag Raine
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----- Original Message ----
From: Linda Macaulay <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: Monday, June 9, 2008 1:50:27 PM
Subject: Fwd: Why do we love children?
Maybe it is just the teacher in me, but I loved these!!
Linda
Begin forwarded message:
>
> Why do we love children?
> 1) NUDITY
> I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
> when a
> woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
> naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout
> from
> the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
>
> 2) OPINIONS
> On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a
> note from
> his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child
> are not
> necessarily those of his parents.'
>
>
> 3) KETCHUP
> A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
> struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
> answer the
> phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
> hitting the bottle.'
>
>
> 4) MORE NUDITY
> A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
> locker
> room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
> grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
> amazement
> and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy
> before?'
>
> 5) POLICE # 1
> While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
> interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down
> at my
> uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued
> writing
> the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
> police.
> Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she
> said as
> she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
>
>
> 6) POLICE # 2
> It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
> station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
> barking,
> and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back
> there?' he asked.
> 'It sure is,' I replied.
> Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the
> van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'
>
> 7) ELDERLY
> While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
> shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
> rounds.
> She was unfailingly intrigued by t he various appliances of old age,
> particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
> staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass . As I braced
> myself
> for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
> whispered,
> 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'
>
> 8) DRESS-UP
> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she
> saw her
> dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
> suit.'
> 'And why not, darling?'
> 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
>
> 9) DEATH
> While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
> heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
> Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
> robin.
> Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a
> small
> box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the
> disposal of
> the deceased.
> The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
> sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father
> always
> said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the
> hole
> he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)
>
> 10) SCHOOL
> A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just
> wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't
> write,
> and they won't let me talk!'
>
> 11) BIBLE
> A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he
> fingered
> through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
> picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf
> that
> had been pressed in between the pages.
> 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
> 'What have you got there, dear?'
> With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's
> Adam's underwear!'
>
>
>
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