Hi Sweet T,

You are precious and sweet, and made out of love, full of love, and 
so very loving.

I know what you are going through, believe me, I do understand.

I'm sending you many lovings and squeezings, and Loving one, I'm 
praying for you and will continue to do so.

May God give you peace and comfort and I pray for a complete healing 
on your broken heart. Oh, this makes me cry, as I wish I could 
squeeze you right now, and let you know how much you are deeply loved.

Loving you bunches,
Pat Ferguson with tears in my eyes

At 01:10 AM 9/6/2007, you wrote:
>Well, I am very depressed and can't seem to find a sane soul that
>understands my heart right now. I am feeling a lil like Job with his 3
>friends that gave him countless words of advise, but no real answers that he
>could grab a hold of. . I am hurting, but trying to allow God to soften and
>change my heart. If you do not want to read the following letter I wrote to
>God, its ok. I just needed to send it somewhere, so someone would know what
>I feel right now at 6:50 PM Wednesday evening. I love you all sweet tee
>
>
>
>Dear Jesus,
>
>I am not sure what I am doing wrong, but I feel pressured by those around me
>to hurry up in the healing you are doing. Lord, you know I am having severe
>trouble with loneliness and depression. I really would like to know how to
>let yo be God and Lord supreme in my life. I am just not sure how to let you
>all the way in, Jesus. I can't seem to get past blaming and resenting others
>for my condition. Even now after so much healing, I feel so empty and broken
>  I wish you would let me come home. I mean how will I ever make a difference
>I f I can't conform to the middle class stereo typical Christian? I hate
>their judgments and standards, God. They will not listen to me or change, I
>am the one in error. Mean while they pollute their doctrines on to other
>poor broken hurting people that have trouble meeting their standards. I get
>complaints all the time from these lost sheep of yours that the Church does
>not understand them. But how can I help? I mean I am as poor and broken as
>these you want me to help. According to the powers that be, I am not coming
>up to standards in daily living skills. Lord, I feel backed up into a corner
>and I feel so trapped.
>
>I feel confused about so many things. I am about ready to throw in the towel
>on trying to fit in. So, I quit asking for money, clean my house, go to
>every Church service, you know it will be something else they will have
>issue with. Was I born just to be an outcast or what? Well, I just wanted to
>get all of this off my chest. I know I am having a hard time understanding
>all I need to do. I really hope you will unclog my heart and help me to
>listen, respond and be obedient. I hate feeling resentful. Its just not Your
>way. Please forgive me for all of this self- absorbed chatter and self- pity
>  Thank you for allowing me the space just to poor out my heart.
>
>Please come and be near me Lord Jesus. I need you more now than ever. I
>really love you. Love your sweet tee rose.