Okay Phil,
I'm laughing, but I do have to wonder if  I'm being a bit sadistic to 
find the humor in these.  GRIN!
Kathy



At 02:25 PM 1/3/2008, you wrote:
> > >Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are
> > >bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Here is the glorious Winner:
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
> > >during
> > >a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber Jmes Elliot did
> > >something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
> > >tried
> > >the trigger again. This time it worked.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >And now, the Honorable Mentions:
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
> > >machine & submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
>expecting
> > >negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried
> > >the
> > >machine & he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
>during
> > >a
> > >blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to fi! nd a woman had taken
> > >the space. Understandably, he shot her.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
> > >found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
> > >Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
>the
> > >driver went to a nearby bus stop & offered everyone waiting there a free
> > >ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
>the
> > >Staff that the patients were very excitable & prone to bizarre fantasies.
> > >The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >5. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,
>&
> > >asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
> > >gun & asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
> > >provided. The man took the cash from the clerk & fled, leaving the $20
> > >bill
> > >on the counter.
> > >
> > >The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15. (If someone points
>a
> > >gun at you & gives you money, is a crime committed?)
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >6 . Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> > >he
> > >d just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
>booze,
> > >&
> > >run. So he lifted the cinderblock & heaved it over his head at the
>window.
> > >The cinderblock bounced back & hit the would-be thief on the head,
>knocking
> > >him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole
> > >event was caught on videotape.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >7 . As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
>grabbed
> > >her purse & ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, & the woman was able
>to
> > >give them a detailed description of the snatcher. With in minutes, the
> > >police apprehended the purse snatcher, they pu him in the car & drove
>back
> > >to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car & told to stand
>there
> > >for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes, officer, that's her. That's
> > >the lady I stole the purse from.'
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >8. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
>Burger
> > >King in , Michigan, at 5 a.m. , flashed a gun, & demanded cash. The clerk
> > >turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
>without
> > >a
> > >food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
> > >availablefor breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ****** A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >9. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
> > >Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
> > >the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
> > >spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
>to
> > >steal gasoline & plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
>tank
> > >by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying
> > >that
> > >it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your
> > >friends & family. Unless of course one of these individuals by chance is
>a
> > >distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are
>distant
> > >& hope they remain lost.