My grandson Case was pantsed recently by some bullies. I was furious
but his dad says he must stand up to them so they will stop. This
sweet little guy does not have a mean bone in his body but I guess
this is necessary to learn in order to protect yourself.
At 08:24 AM 4/23/2008, you wrote:
>Mary,
>
>I can only echo what some others have said. It sounds to me like
>you would benefit from counseling to work through your history of
>abuse, issues with struggling with independence, and working through
>how to explain your childhood/disabilities/parents to others.
>
>As for how I grew up...My CP is fairly mild so I always tell people
>"God screwed up just enough so I can do whatever I want and get a lot
>of special privileges." (Don't mean to be disrespectful by my
>comment...usually gets a laugh from most folks). And really, it is
>true. I walk (albeit funny), talk fine (too much and too fine if you
>ask my husband!), and have above average intelligence that "made up
>for" my lack of physical agility or gracefulness. So, I can't
>complain. I like who I am and would rather be smarter than most and
>less-able-bodied rather than "average" in every way. But growing up,
>my mom was very over protective of me and probably would have kept me
>in a bubble if she could have. Dad was more one to push me to do
>what I needed to do and to get out in the world. But they both
>raised me to think and to be independent, with good morals and
>compassion. I hear you when you say your parents made you believe it
>is a scary world out there. My mom STILL does that...but luckily I
>have experiences that allow me to make my own judgements and not to
>live in fear of what "might" be. They taught me to capitalize on my
>strengths and not dwell on weaknesses. Instead, be a creative
>problem solver to "overcome" the weaknesses. They did a darn good
>job with me, I think!
>
>As for independence vs. over doing it...I think you need to realize
>that independence doesn't mean needing to do everything
>INDEPENDENTLY. Like Kat said it is about being nable to make
>decisions about what you want and need to be happy and live your life
>the way YOU want to. You may need assistants, a wheelchair, a
>service dog or paratransit to do it, but that still is independence.
>I've learned, as many others on the list have as well, that overdoing
>it to prove we are "normal" really just hurts us more in the end.
>
>Anyway, my two cents...for what it is worth.
>
>Linda
>
>(age 35, mild spastic cp)
>On Apr 22, 2008, at 11:13 PM, Mary Powers wrote:
>
> > Hello,
> >
> > I'm 39.?
> >
> > are my posts showing up with question marks?? b/c I am typing them
> > normally and then seeing question marks after the end of some
> > sentences.
> >
> > anyway, I think my vision problems were a key part of what was
> > wrong.? basically I lived in fear b/c I could not visually process
> > and mentally integrate information.? one problem I had was called
> > 'visual neglect.'? anything past midline (when my head was
> > straight) didn't register so objects to my RHS - they were there
> > and I in some way "saw" them, but not well.? they did not register
> > mentally as important.? so I fell and etc. a lot.
> >
> > it left me with the feeling that I could get harmed easily b/c I
> > could not see.? my parents took me to Doctors who didn't listen.?
> > in my case, it wasn't having the impairment per se, but rather,
> > having *no accommodations* for it.
> >
> > I also had both physical and sexual abuse outside the family, where
> > I was told directly that I seemed "weak" and easy to abuse so that
> > caused a lot of trouble.
> >
> > but - now I am an adult and I have far better help and more
> > resources.? I have some very supportive people in my life.
> >
> > my biggest problem is exhausting myself trying to be independent.?
> > my second biggest problem is not understanding what independence
> > is.? after that it's anxiety.
> >
> > what is independence?? and how can I know my limits and still be
> > independent?? when is it "giving up" and when it is right to stick
> > things out?
> >
> > that confuses me.
> >
> > take care,
> >
> > Mary Katherine
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > -----------------------
> >
> > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
> >
> > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
> >
> >
>
>-----------------------
>
>To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
>
>http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
-----------------------
To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here:
http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy
|
