Wow theres a lot here.  I've had some of those thoughts and feelings.  Heck
sometimes I feel like I'm kookoo because of my thoughts but what you say
makes perfect sense.

Thanks Phil.

Lelia


----- Original Message -----
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, December 16, 2003 9:37 AM
Subject: The Cutting Edge Of Depression 2 of 2


> * Demonic Fear
>
>      I was counseling with a friend of mine one day and he told me
> an amazing story.  He came from a very dysfunctional upbringing
> and lived in a lot of sin as an adult before getting born again.
> One day, he told me, that his father took him hunting.  While they
> were out in the woods, and totally alone, my friend told me that
> he was walking near his dad with his shotgun and suddenly, out of
> the clear blue sky, he felt the coldest and most fearful thought
> he had ever experienced.  He believe his father was going to
> literally kill him with his shotgun while they were out hunting.
> He was only 12 years old at the time.  I asked him why he thought
> this but the only reason he could come up with was that he knew
> his father hated him.  There was, in fact, another reason he felt
> this fear at the time.
>
>      A client recently told me that an acquaintance of his no
> longer can take a shower unless the shower curtain or door is
> clear.  Why?  He watched a horror movie that frightened him so
> severely, he cannot shower without the fear rising up within him
> unless he can see out of the shower stall.
>
>      Remember when Jaws, the shark story, came out?  Many
> Christians thought it to be a harmless movie.  It wasn't.  Many
> Christians admit to an abnormal fear they began having after
> watching that movie.
>
>      A man I know, who has been in Christian counseling for many
> years and deals with demonic influence in the lives of Christians,
> told me this story.
>
>      A man came to him once with horrible fear.  He could not, he
> admitted, sleep at night without his light burning brightly.  The
> darkness frightened him more than he could describe and he was an
> adult.  Further more, he was a roofer, by trade, and had
> developed the fear of heights.  Also, he had something else that,
> you could say, bothered him just a little bit.  He had thoughts of
> killing his pastor while he sat in church and listened to the
> sermon.  Try telling that one to your doctor and see where you end
> up.
>
>      Furthermore, as the counseling sessions progressed, this
> fearful man asked the counselor if he would mind removing a glass
> of water which the counselor had sitting on his desk within
> reaching distance of the man.  My friend said he would but asked
> the man in his office why he wanted him to remove the glass.  The
> man confessed that he had the feeling that he wanted to take the
> glass, break it, and kill my counselor friend with the broken
> shards.  The glass was removed from sight.
>
>      As the counseling sessions progressed, come to find out, the
> Christian man we are talking about went to see the Exorcist when
> it first came out.  Prayer was conducted, once the original source
> of the fear was located, and he instantly no longer wanted to kill
> his pastor and he discovered he no longer needed the light on in
> his room at night just to fall to sleep.  One day, while working
> on a roof, something crossed his mind.  He stood straight up,
> walked right over to the peak of the roof, the highest point, and
> on the very edge, looked straight down to the ground.  Laughing to
> himself, he returned to his work because his fear of heights was
> totally gone.
>
> Thinking about knives, for me, made he feel fearful.  Something I
> could feel made me wonder if I would, or could, use a sharp knife
> to harm myself.  I always ignored these thoughts, which, by the
> way, did not come to the surface all the time.  I still had no
> idea where these thoughts originated.  I didn't want to hurt
> myself nor anybody else.  Yet, the knife, in my hand, sometimes
> made me wonder.
>
>      You will be very happy to know I never killed anybody and
> that I never even harmed myself with a knife.  In fact, now, when
> I get a knife out of my pocket for something as simple as opening
> a sealed box, I test myself by briefly concentrating on the knife.
> What do you know?  No sinister thoughts ever come to mind.  Why?
> Because the unclean spirit, sometimes called demons, can't speak
> to me any longer because their right to do so was taken from them
> when I was healed.   "Oh, really?"  Yes, really.  "And why not?"
> Because I have been healed in areas that have denied them access.
> "Well, what if it ever happens again?  Have you ever thought about
> that?"  No, I have not thought about that but if it does happen
> again, I know exactly what to do to discover the source and origin
> of the lie.  The last thing a demon wants is for you to be healed
> of any emotional woundedness.  Why?  Because it is the only way
> they have at working at deceiving people and keeping them
> guessing and off balance spiritually.
>
> * The Nature Of Demons
>
>      Demons, unclean spirits, devils, or however you want to
> address them, have no bodies of their own.  They are fallen
> angels.  This isn't a Sunday school lesson so I'm not going to
> quote chapter and verse to prove everything I am saying.
> Regardless, when the fallen angels were cast out of Heaven, along
> with Satan, they discovered they had no glory of their own left.
> Those angels who belong to God do have glory and some even shine
> with brilliant light.  The light, however, comes from God.  So
> those angels who were kicked out of Heaven lost that glory and
> they have no physical bodies.  If they did, they would be able to
> walk right up to you in a physical body, and while trying to carry
> on a conversation with you, get you to sin.  Since they cannot do
> this, being bodiless and all, they are limited to one area of
> exposure.  That's in your mind and emotions.  Demons do have
> feelings but they are always negative, or evil feelings, and they
> can put those feelings upon you and fool you into thinking those
> feelings are truly your own.  If you are thinking that is a
> pretty dirty trick, you would be right but demons never play fair
> and they never tell the truth unless they are forced to do so.
> How can they be forced to tell the truth?  That comes later.  For
> now, it is important you know how they behave.
>
> * Hearing Demonic Voices
>
>      Demons normally start out by implanting a single thought into
> your thinking stream.  It is so quick and easy, you normally think
> it is your own thought.  For example, "I'm not a very good
> Christian.  If I were, this wouldn't bother me like it does."
> That seems harmless enough and you normally quickly agree with
> such a thought that has been plugged into your consciousness.
> After all, according to the Bible, you are nothing.  At least that
> is what the pastor said last Sunday in his sermon concerning
> humility, so it must be true.
>
>      Now, other stressful events begin to occur.  Your boss gets
> mad at work.  You lose your job and the bills start coming due and
> you can't pay because you don't have a job.  Quite simply, the
> thought of, "I'm not a very good Christian.  If I were, this
> wouldn't bother me like it does," now seems really true.  For some
> reason, you begin to search around for other conformational events
> which prove this thought and you find a bunch.  Your dad used to
> always say you'd never amount to anything.  Your mom even said
> once that she wished you'd never been born.  That's similar to
> what you are thinking.  What about Philippians 4:19?  "But my God
> shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by
> Christ Jesus."  Well, that promise doesn't seem to be working so
> maybe your original thought was true: "I'm not a very good
> Christian.  If I were, this wouldn't bother me like it does."
>
>      Going out to the mail box a few days later, you have a single
> letter.  Tearing it open, you read that you are being turned over
> to a collection agency for nonpayment of some bill.  Your eyes
> cloud over and you feel raw cold freezing fear which you have
> never felt before.  Your heart pounds so hard, you can't breathe.
> You hardly make it back to the house and you literally fall
> forward on to your hands and knees upon entering the front door.
> "You're having a heart attack," you think.  At least you think it
> is but somehow the thought seems to have body to it; whatever in
> the world that means.  You literally crawl on your hands and knees
> into your kitchen and pull yourself up by holding on to the edge
> of the sink.  You fumble for a glass and finding it, you manage,
> barely, to get the water turned on.  the cool drink seems to slow
> things down and you breathe deeply a few times.  Your heart slows
> down a little.  You wonder what happened to you.  Could you be
> having a heart attack?  That's within the realm of reason at your
> age but somehow you aren't really convinced of that yet.  You
> suddenly think, "I'm not going to make it.  I'm going to lose
> everything."  Reaching for a kitchen chair, you collapse into the
> chair; dropping the glass of water to the floor.  It's a plastic
> glass, fortunately, and it bounces around for awhile; spilling
> water everywhere.  You stare down at your table.  It is long and
> flat and narrow and cold to the touch.  Suddenly, your mind thinks
> of a morgue and you can see yourself naked and laid out on top of
> the table in some hospital some place, your cold stiff body
> covered with a white sheet, after having a heart attack.  You
> scream but don't even notice.  Somehow, you drag the phone off the
> counter and after several attempts, you get a friend on the phone.
> They come right over and take you to the emergency room.
>
>      the EKG shows your heart is fine, other than a heart beat of
> 135, but after describing the other events to the nurse, she has a
> mental health care giver come to talk with you.  You are
> prescribed some pills you have never heard of before, and can't
> even spell, but promise to take them just as instructed.
> Furthermore, you go to see your doctor the next day and he
> confirms you are having Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, something
> you have never even heard of, but he recommends a good
> psychologist for you to see.
>
>      Soon you are in the office of the psychologist and still your
> mind seems foggy.  Your insurance hasn't run out yet so it is
> paying for this visit so that is one less thing you have to worry
> about.
>
> * Fractured Spirituality
>
>      Over the years, I thought the measure of spirituality in a
> Christians life was somehow based on how many things you could
> conquer and no longer had to worry about.  The problem was, about
> the time I turned 50 years of age, I discovered I had tons of
> things to worry about that I couldn't do anything about and I
> freaked out.  I began not eating and I went for five days without
> sleeping.  I was so dizzy and my mind so foggy, thinking was the
> hardest thing I could do and when I did think, I somehow only
> thought of how nothing was going to work out for me.  I wanted to
> die.  When I saw one of my knives, I hid it lest I be tempted to
> use one on myself some day.  Just touching the knife flooded my
> mind with horrible frightening thoughts.  The vocal suggestions in
> my mind turned to something real and alive and authentic.
>
>      * Free from Demonic Thoughts
>
>      About this time, some people say, "Oh, sure.  I'm born again.
> Nothing has ever happened liked that to me or anybody else I
> know."  I trust that is true but I will bet my last dollar, if I
> was a wagering Baptist, that you have simply never recognized it
> for what it was.  That's ok; you don't have to believe in demons.
> For those who even remotely thing such a thing may have occurred
> in your life, there is a remedy.  No, it is not joining the best
> and biggest church in town,  No, it isn't going to Bible college
> or seminary.  No, it isn't memorizing 10,000 Bible verses.  No, it
> isn't reading your Bible every day for thirty minutes.  No, it
> isn't water baptism.  No, it isn't being raised by a Christian mom
> and dad.  No, it isn't being sinless in your every day life.  No,
> it isn't how much money you put in the offering plate.  No, it
> isn't who your pastor is.  No, it isn't if you play on the worship
> team or sing in the choir.  No, it isn't the part you have
> memorized in the Christmas play.  No, it isn't even if you are a
> pastor, missionary, evangelist, prophet, apostle, Sunday school
> teacher, youth pastor, Christian counselor, Seminary professor,
> usher, elder or deacon in the church or on the board.  Demons
> aren't particular and will talk to anybody and everybody who will
> listen, including you.  So, now, what?
>
>      Of course, the Word of God is our first defense against
> demonic intrusion.  Having good prayer partners always creates a
> good line of defense as well.  Prayer partners only work well,
> however, if they understand the nature of spiritual warfare and
> know how to deal with demonic manifestations. Even then, it isn't
> what they are doing that works, it is what the True Lord Jesus
> Christ does in a prayer session.
>
>      By far the most successful defense is intercessory prayer
> which is conducted in such a way that implanted lies of the Enemy
> are located by the Holy Spirit and the truth of the Lord Jesus
> Christ brings His truth right into the event.
>
>      If you wish to ask more questions about this, or if you would
> like to begin a regimen and regular prayer sessions to get at the
> root of the things that bother you, call Safe Place Fellowship.
> First read all the articles and booklets on the site because many
> of your questions will be answered.  Otherwise, if you don't want
> to take the time to do that, just pick up the phone and dial the
> number below.  When you hear the voice mail message come on, leave
> me your name and number and the best time to call, and I will call
> you back as soon as possible.
>
> Phil Scovell
> Safe Place Fellowship
> Denver, Colorado - Mountain Time Zone
> Phone:  303-507-5175
> www.SafePlaceFellowship.com
>