You know phil, I thought this was great.  Of course I know that all of us 
has anger, and I know from experience that if we will let Him, God will make 
us free from anger.  I could hold it up as anger about the ways that I was 
hated by my mother, and mistreated by her and how everyone else watched in 
mock horror.  Don't know if they were doing that or not, but to me it seems 
liek they were.  But I don't any longer, but it took a lot not to let that 
be a source of anger for me any more.  So many people are bitter, and I like 
to think that is part of a ministry that I have.  that I can interceed for 
people who have terrible passed lives and God can deffinately heal through 
those prayers.  thank you for sharing this with us.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Brad D" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, June 29, 2007 7:04 PM
Subject: Re: Killing The Source Of Your Anger


>I like that. Get right to the crux of a matter. I am similar, patient as 
>the day is long on June 21 most all of the time, but when they've been 
>exhausted fur flies and it can be quite a display of childish behavior :), 
>and yes, there is an underlying cause to be sought out at that point. I am 
>grateful it happens very rarely anymore and maybe when I'm 80 years old I 
>can say I can't remember that last display anymore :). Regrets grow out of 
>a broken heart, like weeds from a cracked sidewalk.
>
> Brad
>
>
>
> At 03:01 PM 6/29/2007, you wrote:
>>Killing The Spider And Eliminating Anger Management
>>
>>
>>By Phil Scovell
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>      A few years ago, I recall hearing about the small toys sold
>>for personal anger management.  They were soft toys that one
>>could pick up from their desk, or which they could pull from a
>>drawer, when they felt anger or frustration, stress or pressure,
>>and throw them against a nearby wall.  The soft toy would then
>>say something such as, "Oh, that felt good," or, "What a relief."
>>They sometimes just made a noise like breaking glass or a
>>groaning sound.  This was advertised to assist office workers to
>>passively diminish, or otherwise, manage their feelings of anger.
>>Did it work?  Sure, to a point but the anger never went away.
>>
>>      My favorite all time Christian joke is about the little boy
>>who had the right theological idea.  The story goes this way.
>>
>>      Every Sunday night, the pastor of the small church would
>>call on elderly Brother Jones to close in prayer.  The man prayed
>>eloquently, with flowing glowing words of majesty, and then, just
>>before saying, "Amen," he would say, "And Lord, just clean all
>>those spider webs out of our lives."  Sunday night after Sunday
>>night, these exact words by the same Godly man were spoken in his
>>closing prayer.
>>
>>      finally, one night Johnny, now 10 years of age, and who had
>>heard this same prayer for literally years, couldn't stand it any
>>longer and following the closing prayer by Brother Jones, went to
>>speak with the elderly man.  "Brother Jones," he said honestly
>>and sincerely, "instead of cleaning out all those spider webs
>>from our lives each week, why don't we just find that spider and
>>kill him."
>>
>>      I tell this story so many times, the people in my church
>>grown every time they hear it now.  The story has such great
>>spiritual application, though, I use it every chance I get
>>because it proves a very good point.  It also fits this topic of
>>our problems with anger.
>>
>>      Anger is a natural, or should I say, unnatural, coping
>>mechanism.  Throwing a soft toy against the wall that squeaks or
>>says something funny upon impact, slamming a door hard, smacking
>>your fist into your palm, throwing something, swearing, honking
>>the car horn and screaming in your car at someone getting in your
>>way, giving someone the finger, kicking a chair across the room,
>>are just a few of the more mild forms of released anger.
>>Slapping your child or your wife, driving recklessly, committing
>>road rage, getting stone drunk, throwing a chair through a
>>window, kicking the family dog into unconsciousness, punching the
>>guy out at the ball game because he is in your way, punching a
>>hole in the sheet rock, for which you'll have to repair later,
>>unless, of course, your fist hit a stud and you broke your hand,
>>waving your unloaded handgun around and acting like you are going
>>to shoot your wife, are a few of the more violent forms of anger
>>release.  All, however, are indications of something much deeper
>>and that is exactly where you are going to have to go, that is,
>>deeper, if you want to be totally free from anger.  That's right.
>>I said you can be totally free from anger.
>>
>>      Now, lest the reader think I am perfect, I have kicked a
>>door down, pounded my hands on the table top so hard, the bruises
>>hurt for a couple of weeks, thrown a small hand held tape
>>recorder across the room, threw a glass of water at the wall,
>>kicked a few things until they were broken, slammed doors so hard
>>glass broke, and a few other things I don't even specifically
>>recall now.  I never thought I had a temper or a problem with
>>anger either.  In fact, whenever I did such things, the anger
>>felt good.  I was remorseful afterwards, of course, but I
>>figured, since I was a Godly Christian, that was a good thing
>>because it meant I must not really have meant it in the first
>>place.  Plus, I used to always say, "It takes me a long time to
>>get mad but when I do, I really get mad.  Once it is over, it's
>>over and it is ok."  Yeah, sure it was.  Besides, I always
>>confessed my anger as sin to the Lord so that made everything ok.
>>Right?  I was being Biblical, wasn't I?  So, if you said you were
>>sorry later, it was ok to release a little anger once and awhile.
>>Right?  Sure, of course.  Let me ask you a question.  How much is
>>too much, or not enough, anger?  Of course, you realize I am not
>>asking you that question but Jesus is.
>>
>>      Today we have specialists, highly educated professionals,
>>getting thousands of dollars an hour to come to corporations to
>>conduct management anger classes.  It almost always focuses on
>>how to defuse, or otherwise short circuit, the anger when it
>>begins to surface.  Quite simply, lets side track the anger
>>before it is released.  Sounds great.  Does it work?  It helps,
>>most likely, but why not kill the spider so we don't have all
>>those sticky disgusting spider webs around in the first place.
>>At your next anger management class, ask your instructor or
>>therapist about killing the spider and see what they say.  If
>>they don't understand, tell them the joke I just told you and ask
>>them for comments.  You won't like what they say.  The bottom
>>line is, they don't believe it is that easy and they don't
>>believe you can be anger free.
>>
>>      A few years ago, during a very desperate time of my life,
>>thinking I was going crazy due to anxiety and panic attacks that
>>were off the scale, I had a single session with a psychologist.
>>She told me, whenever I felt the anxiety attack coming, to
>>picture a huge stop sign in my mind and focus on it.  Did it
>>work?  What do you think?  Do these government and private
>>industry anger management classes help?  That is, do their
>>management coping techniques work?  Sure they help.  The real
>>question is, does it kill the spider?  Maybe the question should
>>be, which do you prefer; coping or eliminating your anger?
>>
>>      Back in the late seventies, I was an assistant pastor in a
>>small town in western Colorado.  Just before moving to this small
>>town, someone gave my wife a box of canning jars all packed very
>>nicely.  In the small church we were working in, a lady called me
>>one day and asked if I would find that box of canning jars for
>>her.  She said she would come over, they didn't live far away,
>>and pick them up and do some canning for my wife and I.  I went
>>out into our attached garage, dug around until I found the large
>>box and as I began pulling it free in order to carry it into the
>>house, my hands came in contact with some spider webbing.  It
>>felt totally different than any spider web I had ever felt.  It
>>was tough, strong, and when I tried pulling it off the box and
>>away from my fingers, it felt almost as if it were made of
>>elastic.  I thought nothing more about it.  The box had hand
>>holes cut into the side of either end so sticking my hand into
>>one end, I pulled the box free and carried it into the house.  I
>>sat the box on our counter top and a few minutes later, the lady
>>stopped by and picked up the box.  About a half an hour later,
>>our phone rang and I answered it.  Jo Ann said, "Phil, I am
>>unpacking the canning jars.  Did you know there was a black widow
>>spider inside?"  I told her about the spider webbing I had pulled
>>away from the box and she informed me to stop screwing around
>>with stuff in the garage because those types of webs were
>>characteristic of black widows.  I was indeed careful from then
>>on.  Let me ask you this question.  Do you think just knowing
>>there was a spider got rid of it?  Of course not and just knowing
>>you have anger, and ripping away the cobwebs won't make the
>>spider go away either.
>>
>>      Anger isn't the problem.  Anger means something hurts some
>>place deep down inside.  The display of outward anger allows for
>>some emotional relief but anger, carefully guarded, suppressed
>>and repressed, and held in, can, and does, create physical
>>problems.  In other words, the anger dumps into the body
>>somewhere and there are physical responses to that anger.
>>
>>      A few years ago, I was attending a small church.  The pastor
>>invited me to sort of work as his assistant pastor.  I did so.
>>As I got to know him, I really grew to love him.  His preaching
>>and teaching was as good as any I had ever heard and he seemed to
>>like people.  He was humorous and enjoyed having a good time even
>>in church.  He could sing well, was excellent at leading worship,
>>and I felt he should have been pastoring a church of 500 people
>>instead of 20 or so we had in this particular church.  He had one
>>problem, though, and that was anger and he didn't know it.
>>
>>      As I got to know him and learned about his early life as a
>>child, I learned why he was angry.  He used his anger to push
>>people away.  Yes, it worked every time.  His anger was right
>>down alarming at times.  He had taken a church of about 100
>>people and in 12 years, he was down to about 6 members.  The
>>church bills were not being paid, the pastor wasn't getting
>>enough to live on, and he began blaming his own church.  He also
>>experience horrible back pain at times which would, on occasion,
>>take him out of ministry for several weeks at a time.  Was this
>>due to anger?  I know it was for a fact based upon things he
>>would tell me personally.
>>
>>      Eventually, since he was using me as a sounding board for
>>his anger and he was literally naming individuals in the church
>>to me privately, I felt, as his brother in the Lord, the need for
>>accountability.  During one of his angry displays one day, I
>>pointed out to him what he was doing to him and his own people.
>>This man prided himself on knowing the Word.  In order to allow a
>>place for anger to exist in his life as a pastor, he insisted
>>upon arguing from a strictly Biblical standpoint.  Let me
>>illustrate what I mean.
>>
>>      during one of his down times due to his back being out, I
>>was taking his place.  He had called and told me to tell the
>>handful of people we still had at that time, that we needed about
>>250 dollars for church expenses.  His wife played the piano and
>>she was there that day.  I felt led for all of us to gather
>>around her and to lay hands on her to pray for her, the pastor,
>>and their physical and financial needs.  I think she had a cold
>>herself that day.  I then said, after we prayed, that I had 160
>>dollars left from my income tax return that I would put toward
>>the church financial need.  Others began saying what they would
>>put in.  My youngest son and his wife, for example, spoke up and
>>he said he would cover the balance.  Others spoke up and said
>>they would put in certain dollar amounts and we ended up with
>>over 300 dollars.
>>
>>      Later, the pastor was complaining to me over the phone that
>>people were not giving enough and that was our problem.  Our
>>problem wasn't that at all.  You cannot have six members in your
>>church, three of which are in their seventies and living on
>>social security, and have big Sunday offerings.  The problem was
>>we were not reaching anyone with the Gospel.  The church, in
>>other words, was spiritually dead.  Yes, can you believe that?  A
>>spiritually dead Charismatic church?  By the way, the number of
>>people you have does not determine if your church is alive or
>>dead.  We have had Holy Ghost worship and praise and shouting
>>times in the living room of my home many times.  You don't even
>>need, for that matter, a church building.  Why?  Because, if you
>>are born again, you are a part of the Body of Christ and where 2
>>or 3 are gathered together, Christ is in their midst.
>>
>>      During this angry outburst my pastor was experiencing, he
>>said, "Nobody even came and offered to pray for me and anoint me
>>with oil."  The tone to his voice was harsh, bitter, and hostile.
>>He said this right after he complained that we, the church, were
>>not giving enough to the church financially.  I pointed out to
>>him his attitude was wrong.  I told him that I personally thought
>>of asking my son to drive with me out to his home, which was 30
>>minutes from the church, to anoint him with oil and to lay hands
>>on him but I didn't for two reasons.  First, he, the pastor,
>>never asked.  Secondly, I didn't think, even if I went, he would
>>allow me to pray for him based upon his attitude.  Yes, I told
>>him both things.  He wanted me to prove what I said from the
>>Bible so read the following instructions given to us by James.
>>
>>"14  Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the
>>church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the
>>name of the Lord:  15  And the prayer of faith shall save the
>>sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committee
>>sins, they shall be forgiven him.  16  Confess your faults one to
>>another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The
>>effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much,"
>>(James 5:14-16).
>>
>>      Do you see it?  If you are sick, you are to call for the
>>elders of the church.  Our pastor was too proud to call for the
>>elders of his church to anoint him with oil.  I pointed out to
>>him that it was his responsibility to call for us to come and
>>pray for him and not the other way around.  He backed down and
>>admitted that was Biblically right but his pride kept his anger
>>in place.
>>
>>      That is another aspect of anger which is rarely seen, that
>>is, pride.  You will always find pride under anger.  How do I
>>know?  I have experienced it myself following an almost fit of
>>rage I had one evening arguing with my youngest son.  I said
>>things, and thought things, that were so unchristian, when my son
>>left, I sat in my office and cried like a baby and tried to
>>figure out why I had exploded in cataclysmic rage.  As I prayed,
>>sobbing, begging God to show me what was wrong, He told me it was
>>caused by pride.  I was so emotionally upset, I was unable to
>>pray about this one by myself.  Two days later, as I sat in a
>>man's office and we shared a prayer session together, the Lord
>>healed me in many places I never knew existed.  If you want to
>>read about this experience of healing, read my personal testimony
>>called, "I Flew Kites With Jesus."
>>
>>      I have learned from both personal experience, and through
>>praying with others, anger is used to cover the truth.  What
>>truth?  The truth about how we really feel about ourselves, the
>>fear that frightens us so much, we has suppressed it almost out
>>of our consciousness, The doubts we have about how others see us,
>>the guilt that we maybe just aren't good enough and God isn't
>>happy, and the fear the somebody, maybe even in the church, is
>>going to find out what we are really like and if they do, they
>>won't like us.  The fear generated by rejection alone is Titanic
>>and we will do anything to keep that from happening.
>>
>>      Fortunately, there is a way of living free from anger and
>>from the fear of anger.  No, there is not a single answer because
>>everybody is different.  Yes, there are common elements to anger
>>and frankly, most people, when prayed with, discover they have
>>anger that they never knew was there.  Like me, for example.
>>
>>      How about you, now?  Isn't it time you let Jesus show you
>>the truth about who He is and who you are so you can be anger
>>free?  Let Jesus show you how to kill the spider creating all
>>those webs in your life that are trying to hinder your intimate
>>relationship with Him.
>>
>>
>>It Sounds Like God To Me.
>>www.SafePlaceFellowship.com
>
>
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