Phil,

You said...

"There are many areas of exposure we face as Christian which anger is used 
to throw up a wall of protection.  It masks the true nature of the fear we 
really feel deep down inside.  As I mentioned before, there is a natural 
anger but few ever recognize the difference."

I can't think of a time, what I'd call natural or unnatural anger, that 
fear has not been the source of it. Which I think you are saying natural 
and unnatural anger both contain fear. Fit of rage being unjustified or 
out of control anger or even a simple snip at someone in conversation. 
Just think, if we were to live full stop the phrase so many times spoken 
in God's Word... "Fear not". If we feared not, we'd anger not. Knowing 
this it also gives insight to the people committing hanous crimes today 
and how tormented they must be by the enemy, filled with fear to a point 
of mental break down. Irrational fear many times in the deadliest crimes. 
If I saw a man grabbing my wife as she came out the grocery store while 
waiting in the car, I can tell you right now I'd be angry and my own 
personal safety would not matter because of the fear for hers.  I have two 
stories on this. Once when I was  driving down the street in my pick 'em 
up truck, old ratty thing it was, but it made lots of cool noise  if you 
tromped on it :), do us guys ever grow up on that one :), probably not, I 
digress. The kids were with me, of course not buckled because you just 
didn't buckle up like we do now days. Anyway, I was riding along, minding 
my own business and this old timer and his wife pulled right out in front 
of me. Of course I slammed on the brakes and my daughter slid into the 
dash despite my attempt to stop her. Not hard, but a fair bump into it. 
Once I found out she was alright, anger hit me like a ton of bricks. I 
jammed that old truck in first gear and floored it and the old man and his 
wife saw nothin but grill in their back window. And if that wasn't enough, 
I laced it with a few expletives out the window seasoned with waving 
fingers and fists, and proceeded to hammer the gas and then off and hammer 
it on and then off. What an idiot I was, thank God he removed that kind of 
thing from me as a whole. I say as a whole because a couple times since I 
committed to Christ back in 96 I was challenged. I'm sure I scared the old 
couple  which of course was my goal, make them suffer like I did, make 
them afraid. Some long haired mad man in his twenties ranting  on like a 
fire hose gone loose. Meanwhile I was further endangering my kids and was 
no better in potentially harming my kids than the old dude that just made 
a simple mistake on the road. It was natural fear, the initial anger was 
out of fear for my kids safety, but it quickly escalated into irrational 
fear and I acted on it. Some years later, and  if Kathy were not on 
vacation she'd know of the place, but  the county held a local celebration 
called Dairy Days. You  know truck pulls, tractor pulls, some carnival 
activity, sort of like a  country fair, and it may have been the country 
fair even I don't remember. Anyway we were sitting watching the truck 
pulls and this loud mouth drunk started mouthing off about where we were 
sitting or something. Finally  I think my wife said something to him and 
he threatened her. Oh oh. Well I stood up and my brother was there as 
well. My brother, a rather large guy, weight lifter and all that already 
had difficulty with anger and rage, stood up next to me. Of course the man 
and I exchanged words to a point my brother is yelling "Just smack him 
Brad, just smack him" I was reluctant because the focus was now off my 
wife, but before I could defuse the situation, I saw  an arm reach across 
me. It was my brother smacking the guy and of course because this guy was 
with a bunch, it turned out to be a bit of a brawl. My brother I suppose 
felt his  character, his family, what would you say, pride maybe, was 
damaged and that was all it took to take the first swing. My brother was 
not a person to be messing with. He had done physical damage to more than 
a few folks, mostly out of drink which he used, but  behind all of that 
rage really was just a little boy scared stiff someone would hurt him 
first somehow. He was so deeply sensitive that you'd never get to see  the 
normal sensitive side unless you really knew him, he went from initial 
harm or fear right to  action. heck he knocked me around once when 
I  mouthed off to him, which really hurt me because I thought we were 
bonded in a way not to do that. I suppose because I mouthed off to him in 
front of the crew we had in our business, his machoness was damaged and 
felt he needed to address it and shut it up leaving the crew smiling at 
the family feud. Before his untimely death in 98 he was getting  a little 
older and a little more mature, and the challenge of folks approaching him 
to be the one to knock his block off was not the thing he wanted to 
participate in anymore. His kids were getting older and he was looking at 
closer relationships with them, and his fear in life seemed to be waning. 
It took years but he realized, or was beginning to realize that drink was 
not the mask against danger, and coming out swinging only served as a 
magnet for it in the community.  I would imagine there were several lies 
in his belief structure that caused irrational and unnatural anger. I only 
wish he was here that we could sit around a cup of coffee and talk now 
about stuff like that.

Brad