Thanks. Anyway, I'm glad I've made friends on this list, but the greatest 
friend I'll ever know is Jesus. After what He did for us, how can He not be 
considered a best friend?
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Cecily Ballenger" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, April 20, 2007 2:08 PM
Subject: Re: please pray for me


>I believe you spelled my name right. Actually, it's all with a c. you tried
> though, and that's okay.
>
> Cecily
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: The Electronic Church [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
> Behalf Of Kim Etheridge
> Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2007 7:46 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: please pray for me
>
> Thanks, Secily, if I spelled it right.
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Cecily Ballenger" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2007 9:18 PM
> Subject: Re: please pray for me
>
>
>> Kim, I know how you feel about someone not allowing you to be 
>> independent,
>> as my mother was that way. I think her main thing was she was afraid to
>> have
>> me try to cook or make cookies or do anything like that. Once she figured
>> that I could do dishes and dust and rake the carpet, those were my 
>> chores.
>> She was usually pretty nice to me though. When I told her I wanted to 
>> move
>> away to become a medical transcriber, she was very glad to let me go. I
>> was
>> a little surprised as I didn't think she would let me move out on my own.
>> She and a friend helped me move and everything. She knows I can do stuff,
>> but she just doesn't like to watch me do it. I'll pray for you. I've 
>> never
>> been abused in that way, but I know it must be horrible. I hope you find 
>> a
>> different living situation soon. I am just now reading this message as I
>> got
>> somewhat behind. Take care.
>>
>> Cecily
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: The Electronic Church [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On
>> Behalf Of Kim Etheridge
>> Sent: Saturday, April 07, 2007 4:24 PM
>> To: [log in to unmask]
>> Subject: please pray for me
>>
>> I need you to pray for something. I'm totally blind. I live with an aunt,
>> or
>>
>> at least I've been trying to live with her for ten years. Sure,
>>
>> she loves me. She takes me to the doctor, whenever I need to go. She does
>> a
>> lot for me, but I'm having to pay too high a price for it. She's verbally
>> abusive.
>>
>> Sometimes, when she's not home, I dramatize on tape. I play the narrator
>> or
>> storyteller, and all the characters. You know with drama there's got to 
>> be
>>
>> some expression. If I went to a play and all the characters sounded dull,
>> I'd fall asleep. She's saying that I act retarded on tape. She's always
>> telling
>>
>> me that I act either childish or retarded. I've tried living by her
>> standards, but I'm to the point where I'm about to say, "Well, to you 
>> know
>> where with
>>
>> her." I hate to say that, in light of all she's done for me, but verbal
>> abuse is just too high a price to pay. She had the nerve  to ask me the
>> other night
>>
>> where she could put me in order to make me act like a 33-year-old. I 
>> said,
>> "Why don't you just put me in Sersey, since you think I act retarded." 
>> She
>> said
>>
>> that Sersey wasn't for two-year-olds. I've tried several things. I've
>> involved my other family members, but they're like, "Don't involve me."
>> "Don't let
>>
>> her get to you." "Pay no attention." But, I've got to stand up for 
>> myself.
>> If I don't, who will? I've got to think about Kim. I know it sounds
>> selfish,
>>
>> but I don't have to put up with verbal abuse. I'm considering involving
>> DHR.
>>
>> I've also tried just going to counseling together, and when I was in
>> therapy
>>
>> after Mom killed herself, my counselor offered to just have therapy
>> sessions
>>
>> for both of us, but she turned him down flat. What can I do? I just feel
>> so
>>
>> alone. I feel like there's just no advocacy agency for the blind around
>> here. I mean, I wait till she's not around to dramatize. The least she
>> could
>>
>> do
>>
>> is just appreciate that I'm considerate enough not to bother her while
>> she's
>>
>> here. Of course, nothing pleases her, so it's impossible for her to
>> appreciate
>>
>> me at all. I'm beginning to be sorry I ever came to live with her. I 
>> know,
>> that's a harsh thing to say, after all she's done for me, but her verbal
>> abuse
>>
>> is just wearing me down. I don't know what else to do. My biggest fear is
>> that after I call DHR, that they'll stick me with someone that either 
>> does
>> what
>>
>> she's doing, or worse. I don't know what to do. As I said, I'm out of
>> ideas.
>>
>> So, please Respond
>>
>> Normally, I wouldn't air dirty laundry like this, in a public format, but
>> I'm out of options here. If I call DHR, there's the likelihood they'll 
>> put
>> me
>>
>> with someone worse than she is. I just want to use the gift God gave me
>> without someone telling me how retarded they think I act. Other than
>> vocational
>>
>> rehabilitation services, there's no advocacy agencies for the blind in
>> this
>> area, or at least not to my knowledge, and VRS doesn't deal with verbal
>> abuse.
>>
>> I've tried moving in with other relatives, but that's not an option. I've
>> taken independent living classes, but she just won't let me practice the
>> skills
>> I learn. What good are independent living
>>
>> skills when someone won't
>>
>> let you use them? She's controlling, as well. If I'm about to have a
>> family
>> member come and get me, so I can spend time with them, she gets all mad.
>> The
>>
>> way she acted the other night was totally uncalled for. I know she's been
>> a
>> great source for transportation and for a roof over my head, but verbal
>> abuse
>>
>> is just too high a price for me to have to pay. I mean, I don't dramatize
>> on
>>
>> tape when she's here. She ought to at least appreciate that I don't do it
>>
>> when she's here, or especially late at night. I just want to use the gift
>> God gave me. Granted, sometimes, drama can be wild, but if you're going 
>> to
>> dramatize,
>>
>> you have to show expression. If I went to a play and heard a character 
>> say
>> something like, "Watch out, the house is on fire,", I'd go to sleep. If I
>> tell
>>
>> someone the house is on fire, I'll say, "Watch out! The house is on 
>> fire!"
>
>> I
>>
>> have an appreciation for drama. The other night she had the nerve to ask
>> me
>>
>> where we could put me, so I'd act the way she wanted me to. I just 
>> snapped
>> and asked why not put me in an institution. She said, "Sersy isn't for
>> two-year-olds."
>>
>> I just broke down. It was bad enough, her talking about this when I 
>> didn't
>> feel good to begin with, but for her to practically ask me something like
>> that
>>
>> was just one wrong word too many. Plus, she had the nerve to tell me that
>> I
>> could forget living with a certain family member, when she allegedly
>> didn't
>>
>> even want me there on the weekend. This family member she was referring 
>> to
>> is a respectable person. I turn to her a lot, and to hear my aunt say
>> something
>>
>> so cruel just pushed me to the breaking point. I just need prayer and
>> advice
>>
>> on this. I've told her time and
>>
>> time again how she makes me feel, but she doesn't listen. I've involved
>> the
>> family, but some of them just don't want
>>
>> to be involved, and others would like to help, but they've got their own
>> lives to lead. When I was in therapy shortly after Mom's suicide, I
>> addressed
>>
>> the issue with my counselor, and he offered sessions where she and I 
>> could
>> just sit down and just talk about our problems, but she refused. I was on
>> Xannax
>>
>> for anxiety, but she'd either let other people take my medicine, or she'd
>> give some of it away. I'm at a loss.
>>
>> As I said, other than VRS, there aren't any advocacy agencies for the
>> blind
>> in this area, that I'm aware of. Besides, rehab doesn't have anything
>>
>> to do with where a person lives. If I lived by myself, I'd have to
>> microwave
>>
>> all my meals, since I can't cook on the stove or in the oven.
>>
>> I've tried at least three independent living programs, and although
>> they've
>> helped somewhat, I just wasn't able to use the skills I acquired because
>> someone, and I believe you can figure out who, wouldn't let me label the
>> stove or anything else. I'm lucky that I can make tea in the coffeepot,
>> but
>> short of microwaving and that, I'm useless. I'm nothing.
>>
>>
>> It's just that I feel like a failure, because my skills have gone
>> South, if you know what I mean. I'm blessed to know how to make tea in 
>> the
>> coffeepot, but when it comes to the George Foreman or the oven, or
>> especially the stovetop, I feel so helpless and so useless. Sometimes,
>> it's
>> so awful I just feel worthless. I know I wouldn't say it, but it's just
>> the
>> way I feel. And just today after the awful episode, I found myself
>> wishing,
>> God forbid that I'd just gone home with Mom when she died. I don't mean
>> gone
>> home, like going to her house. I think you can put two and two together.
>> Now
>> that I'm calm enough to be rational, I'm thankful I didn't die when she
>> did,
>> or in the way she did, because as a result of some seizure medicine she
>> was
>> taking, she committed suicide. Still, I need lots of prayer, support,
>> friendship, a few shoulders to boost me back on to the mountain, and some
>> patience. I don't mean to sound like a whiner.
>>
>>
>> I was in counseling at one time, shortly after Mom's
>> suicide. I finished the program, finally, and my counselor offered to
>> counsel me and my aunt, but she refused. Apparently, she doesn't believe
>> either of us need counseling. I need something.
>>
>>
>> Oh Lord, you won't believe the turmoil we had last night. My aunt's nose
>> was
>> hurting, because she's got a Rison or something up in there, and I 
>> laughed
>> at something on TV, and she accused me of making fun of her because she
>> was
>> in pain. She got up in my face and told me to go to my room, like a
>> three-year-old going to time out, and when I tried to come back and
>> explain
>> that I hadn't made fun of her, she said that she didn't want an apology
>> from me. Please pray, as I don't know what I've done to deserve such
>> treatment. I can't live with her after this. I don't know what to do
>> anymore. I prayed last night, that God would soften her stone cold heart.
>> I
>> just can't deal with her any more. I've prayed, I've talked to family
>> members, but now I'm just at the end of my rope. My last nerve snapped
>> last
>> night. I've finally hit rock bottom. Pray as you never have before,
>> please,
>> and tell Dot to pray. Last night, for the first time in a long time, I
>> thought of suicide, although I know it's not the answer. The devil's
>> trying
>> to get the best of me, and I'm trying to use the authority Jesus gave us
>> Christians against the enemy.
>>
>>
>> I need all the help I can get. After last night, I don't know if I
>> want to live here.
>> She scares me. I'm just scared that if I continue to live in this 
>> torment,
>> that she'll end upp hitting me, as I stated earlier. Do forgive me,
>> please,
>> but I'm just nervous.
>>
>>
>>
>> -- 
>> No virus found in this incoming message.
>> Checked by AVG Free Edition.
>> Version: 7.5.446 / Virus Database: 269.2.0/756 - Release Date: 4/10/2007
>> 10:44 PM
>>
>
>
>
> -- 
> No virus found in this incoming message.
> Checked by AVG Free Edition.
> Version: 7.5.446 / Virus Database: 269.5.5/769 - Release Date: 4/19/2007
> 5:56 PM